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I Write Letters
I just sent this off to the Star newspaper.
Dear Editor,
In light of the fact that sex parties are held to usher in the New Year, moralists have come seeping out from under coconut shells to express their appalled amazement that people like to have a lot of sex (!) with a lot of other people (!!) and, possibly, an audience (!!!). Why, I ask, are we invested in what other people do with their own bodies? The idea that people participate in such events is a problem - if you think sex is a shameful act that should happen only behind closed doors, rather than a fun-filled activity between consenting adults.
Sure, sex can be an intimate, monogamous act, but that is not the only way it is peformed, and getting angry because other people have sex in other ways than you do is ignoring the variations of human sexuality. Even then, there is always willful ignorance of what's happening with other people's bodies, a mental state unfortunately more often used for issues such as economic disparity and human rights.
And the blame games! What simplistic notions we buy into! "Blame the West!" cry some, as if only Westerners condone sexual activities, completely ignoring the fact that the United States of America has poured _millions_ into abstinence-only programs to discourage pre-marital sex among teenagers, only to fail in preventing teens from having sex before marriage. (They did succeed in one thing: said teens are less likely to use contraceptives.)
"Blame the parents!" cry others, completely ignoring the fact that most parents, for all their flaws, do their best to raise children in an expensive world, in societies that encourage self-sufficient nuclear family setups that are neither sustainable nor supportive to young families, in economies that make it impossible for parents to earn a decent living without leaving their beloved children at home for long hours, just to earn enough so said children can have the best possible starts in life through an education system that runs on money. And that's being optimistic.
Which leads us to the group that cries "Teachers must do their part too!", forgetting that many teachers a) are bogged down with ridiculous administrative tasks that hamper them from the actual job of teaching; b) are trained to spoonfeed children facts and formulas instead of encouraging mental facility and curiousity; and c) are miserably underpaid for the grand task that is Making People.
People are going to have sex anyway; the best thing we can do about that is to encourage safe, sane and consensual sex. We have more important, highly complex issues to worry about than some random people whom we don't know having lots of sex with other people and an audience.
If they publish that entire thing like how they've been publishing the dribble from the moralists, I will treat anyone interested to lunch. Anyone in Malaysia, that is. And it would have to be a cheap lunch. Like, RM1 nasi lemak.
Dear Editor,
In light of the fact that sex parties are held to usher in the New Year, moralists have come seeping out from under coconut shells to express their appalled amazement that people like to have a lot of sex (!) with a lot of other people (!!) and, possibly, an audience (!!!). Why, I ask, are we invested in what other people do with their own bodies? The idea that people participate in such events is a problem - if you think sex is a shameful act that should happen only behind closed doors, rather than a fun-filled activity between consenting adults.
Sure, sex can be an intimate, monogamous act, but that is not the only way it is peformed, and getting angry because other people have sex in other ways than you do is ignoring the variations of human sexuality. Even then, there is always willful ignorance of what's happening with other people's bodies, a mental state unfortunately more often used for issues such as economic disparity and human rights.
And the blame games! What simplistic notions we buy into! "Blame the West!" cry some, as if only Westerners condone sexual activities, completely ignoring the fact that the United States of America has poured _millions_ into abstinence-only programs to discourage pre-marital sex among teenagers, only to fail in preventing teens from having sex before marriage. (They did succeed in one thing: said teens are less likely to use contraceptives.)
"Blame the parents!" cry others, completely ignoring the fact that most parents, for all their flaws, do their best to raise children in an expensive world, in societies that encourage self-sufficient nuclear family setups that are neither sustainable nor supportive to young families, in economies that make it impossible for parents to earn a decent living without leaving their beloved children at home for long hours, just to earn enough so said children can have the best possible starts in life through an education system that runs on money. And that's being optimistic.
Which leads us to the group that cries "Teachers must do their part too!", forgetting that many teachers a) are bogged down with ridiculous administrative tasks that hamper them from the actual job of teaching; b) are trained to spoonfeed children facts and formulas instead of encouraging mental facility and curiousity; and c) are miserably underpaid for the grand task that is Making People.
People are going to have sex anyway; the best thing we can do about that is to encourage safe, sane and consensual sex. We have more important, highly complex issues to worry about than some random people whom we don't know having lots of sex with other people and an audience.
If they publish that entire thing like how they've been publishing the dribble from the moralists, I will treat anyone interested to lunch. Anyone in Malaysia, that is. And it would have to be a cheap lunch. Like, RM1 nasi lemak.
no subject
I remember someone once told me that being pregnant is like having a parasite in your body willingly.
Btw, breast feeding is not a method of birth control (can someone please tell people who have brains this?) - you can still get pregnant even though you're breast feeding and/or if you don't get your periods while you're breast feeding. I had a friend who got pregnant about three months after having her first baby because of this misconception. Needless to say, she learnt her lesson well.
While it is good for older kids to learn to care for their younger siblings, helping out and doing Mum or Dad's job are entirely two different matters. Children should be free to mingling with other kids - the fact that you pointed out that she is closely chaperoned and doesn't get to mingle with other children her own age is worrisome especially for someone at 15. Home schooling is the other - how are kids going to learn to mingle with other kids if all they see are their siblings and parents?
But I'm with you on the financial part. Already with one income and a baby on the way, I'm worried about what should happen if hubby were to lose his job (touchwood)? So what more with 12 mouths to feed?
And thanks for sharing! Thanks to you, I get an insight into that lifestyle as well! :)
no subject
Other than that, I'm with you 100%. Their kids do not have appropriate social skills. When introduced to a group of other children they are very shy (with the possible exception of the oldest,) and tend to play with each other instead of the other children in the room. This is getting better, because they're starting to host bible study at their home and doing some church related child projects. However there's a lot they are missing out on and don't know how to do.
OTOH, why should I be allowed to have an opinion on any of this? I don't have any kids, and am unlikely to have any. I need to choose one (or more!) of my nieces and spoil them rotten. That way I'll have someone to take care of me when I'm old and decrepit.
no subject
Btw, what's OTOH? XD
no subject
OTOH: On The Other Hand. (http://www.queenofwands.net/d/20050321.html)
I know I'm going to grammar hell for that.