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Social Lives Are Evil
I'm sick. Not as in violent-fever-fainting-shaking kind of sick, but more miserable congested-nose-sore-throat-that-feels-dry-and-needs-constant-water kind of sick. Seems my cup is always empty when I need water and I could've sworn, I just filled it not five minutes ago, and I'm not going to class because everytime I sit in that room, the air-conditioning makes my nose runny and I don't need my nose runnier than it already is.
So, I'm going to sit here at my computer and give you a rundown of my social life this past week. It's been extremely exciting.
Saturday, Robert and I go to Bayer's Lake to pick Robert's "downtown outfit". Bayer's Lake is inland, and the sun was shining... so it got pretty hot. Wow. Just, wow. It was like Malaysia and I regretted wearing corduroys. I normally don't regret wearing those. Anyway, Robert was driving, so it was A-OK with me that day to go to Bayer's Lake, which normally is a full day's outing for me due to the fact it's far out and I need a bus ride that takes forever there, and it's a strip mall.
At Old Navy, I bought myself underwear and a new swimsuit. I've never bought a swimsuit by myself before, so this was a real novelty. In fact, I've never bought a bikini before. For the past five years, I've been using a one-piece black swimsuit that had charming little sleeves. This swimsuit also belonged to my mother which I appropriated for myself one fine day when we were going out swimming and I discovered I no longer fit my little red swimsuit as growth spurts had arrested me during the three years I didn't go swimming.
It's white. It was also mix and match and I found it a bit awkward to find a bottom I liked so I went with white, and that was a little strange to me because it has ties at the sides. The top's fun though. It's a tube with horizontal stripes that're almost Pride Colours, but not quite (missing a couple of colours on the spectrum).
Saturday was "downtown night" for Robert, and he's planned it for three weeks but it was still pretty messy. Apparently the game plan was to start at a houseparty for pre-drinking and from there, go to the Dome and then to Reflections. The planning was to the extent that he had to provide accomodations for two people from out of town to stay the night: Ryan who will bring James and James is the one Robert really wants to see.
I refused to go to the Dome because I pretty much hated it the first time I was there, so I told Robert I'd meet up with him at Reflections around 2am. Elie and I headed out to Reflections at 12am, when Robert had just left for the Dome and we pretty much waited there until 3.15am when I was reasonably sure Robert wasn't coming and pretty damn pissed.
And who comes into Reflections, but one of Robert's friends whom he's supposed to be with came into Reflections: Sean.
Let's dwell a little on Sean.
Sean is a beautiful blonde boy. He's a head taller than I am, wonderfully ripped, slim body and blue-gray eyes. I first met Sean last last year - exactly when, I don't remember, but I do know I definitely met him at a Halloween party, where he came dressed apparently as a ninja (he now refers to it as a bondage ninja outfit) with netting and a facescarf. It was very sexy. He danced with my best friend; I would've made a move on him, but I was dating Andrew at the time. I don't get to meet him often - it's probably a total of three times I've spoken to him since then - since we're either on our way somewhere else, or engrossed in something already. I did get his phone number, but it's a little odd to call someone out of nowhere when you don't really know the person.
Elie has had a crush on this beautiful boy for... a long time. When Elie has a crush, he has a crush. It's a beautiful kind of relationship wherein Elie clings to hope for some snatch like a barnacle. Mind you, I'm just stating it as it is, I love Elie to death and he knows it.
So, Sean's in Reflections and Elie's ECSTATIC. I'm a little glad that there's some consolation for the evening, but still, I really wanted to hang out with Robert too. So we end up on the dance floor again and I'm reasonably happy because there is finally a straight boy on the dance floor telling me I'm hot.
Reflections is queer-friendly. People seem to note a trend that Friday is Straight night, and Saturday is very Gay. I've found Saturday nights to be a bit of a mix though.
A little problem starts when aforementioned straight boy starts dancing with me. In the first place, and this is going to sound strange to a lot of people, I don't like dancing with partners. Unless I've jived with them before, and I kind of know their moves and how to reasonably either take the lead or follow, I do not like proximity with other people when dancing. Sometimes I even dance defensively: I'll have my arms up front or I'll move away from whoever's coming too close. I find dancing with partners limiting, especially when they've got their hands on me. I love touch. I'm a huge cuddle-whore. But when I end up grinding with a guy, somehow it just ends up mildly uncomfortable. I really have to get into a specific mindset to enjoy that, and that mindset will depend on the guy. If he's moving too fast or too slow, I just move away, or put up with it and hope he goes away. If it's the right rhythm, he's not being too touchy but he's giving me enough, and he's pleasant to look at (sorry, I don't buy into the "it's the inside that counts" BS) I'm more inclined to stay and dance.
So I danced with Sean and obviously nightclub dancing has to end up with some making out. In the second place, Elie's calling me a slut and he hates me, and well, I guess I am. But you know what differentiates me from other sluts? I'M SOBER! In fact, I can tell you with some general clarity every time I've made out with someone on the dance floor. It isn't many times because I don't go dancing often and I don't make out on the dance floor often, but I can generally remember most of my encounters.
I manage to break off now and then, because Sean has a friend in the club too who'd wandered off somewhere and I wanted to make sure he was okay, too. I don't know, it's a habit of mine - if I'm with friends, occasionally I have to stop and check around and make sure they're okay. If they're going off with someone, I'm likely to drag them back and ask them where they're going, just to make sure they have second thoughts about it. I don't think they'd make bad judgements and make off with someone skeezy, but in a nightclub, people should look out for each other, especially if they're drinking.
We left when Reflections closed, which was a novelty for me because I've never been out that late. I'm usually home by 2am, latest 3am. To be out on the streets when the sky is brightening is... new.
Now, the story with Sean and his friend apparent was this: they'd gotten sick of Sean's ex at the houseparty and went to the Attic, a section in the Dome which plays metal music, and they'd been moshing hard in the mosh pit, until his friend, in his bright yellow T-shirt that made him stand out among black leather jackets with metal studs and cornrow hairstyles was kicked out - for moshing too hard. I'm not sure what the fun in launching himself at someone else is, but there you have it.
We went to MacDonalds because his friend was looking really beat up, bloody lip and all, and Sean himself had a few scrapes here and there. On the way there, Sean was babble-flirting with me and I find it amusing how drunk people always feel this need to talk, and they just end up making complete fools of themselves because they're babbling, and the next day they're embarrassed. I mean, I babble sometimes - but I'm usually sober. Then we meet some drunk Germans who're obviously not from around here and they stop us to ask for the time, and one of them looks at me and asks me, "Where are your pants?"
I was wearing a tiny orange blouse (with a hoodie!) and a pair of culottes so short, they didn't show from beneath my leather jacket, and that's pretty short too. For someone who spent most of her life as a tomboy, I sure have a lot of skirts O_o; I need to lose weight to wear them comfortable, but I can say that a skirt I bought when I was nine, I still have it and I could still wear it. It's pretty slick. =D
At MacDonald's, I get fries, Elie gets fries, Sean gets a drink, and we get his friend some water. Then we finally get to introducing each other. His friend is James and we start talking about how we know each other, and it turns out, James is THE James. Like, the one Robert has a crush on.
James and Sean live out of Halifax, so they've got nowhere to go until the buses start running, and they wanted to either sleep in the park or go to a 24-hour coffeeshop to hang out. But James looked really beat up, and he's Robert's friend, so I felt really bad for the two of them and offered them my place for a couple of hours to recuperate.
And that is how I ended up with two crushes of two gay friends at my place.
Although I showered, I did not change into regular sleeping clothes because that would've been kind of pointless. I napped, and occasionally got up to check on the boys (sleeping soundly. They kinda reminded me of puppies. I don't know why. But it made me really nostalgic for the times Andrew used to stay over in my room and sleep while I worked on a paper). But nobody really moved until 9am, and we chatted about - of all things - music and metal bands until 11am when they left.
In the afternoon, and I should not have done this, I went to the Art Gallery of Nova Scotia with Angi. I ended up sleeping a lot of the time I was there. But I had to, though! When I got home, my head just hit the pillow and I slept from 5pm all the way to 10pm when Elie woke me up to get to Reflections for Cher & Madonna night.
I'm obligated to go because Dave was performing that night, and I really wanted to watch him and just see some drag queens in general. And it was SO much fun!! XD
Here're some pics of Lucy Lovecock:
Me and Lucy!
Lucy in his hawt black outfit:
I left right after the show, because I was so dead tired, and well, more fun to be had the next day!
Every few months, Seadog's on Gottingen St., aka Halifax's Gay Village, goes from being a men's-only spa to a women's / transgendered-only spa. Since it's only every so often, there're events which don't normally get seen in there: demos, makeout sessions, games.
When I got there, there were a hot tub, a sauna, a makeout room, a reading room, foot massages, thai massages, and demos - specifically, fisting and nipple clamps.
It's an open space where women walk around free to wear whatever they want, and be comfortable in whatever they're wearing. In a world where women are pressured to look good at the time, it's relaxing to be in a space where I don't feel judged for what I look like, where it's okay for me to be fat, or skinny, or whatever.
But I did have this weird feeling of difference all the same. Usually when I'm among Canadians, I don't feel my difference of being Asian much, especially when I talk to them. Even when I'm explaining where I come from, and when they discuss uniquely Canadian things, I don't feel too left out. Just that at one point when I was walking from one corridor to another, I passed by a wall or mirrors and it just struck me how starkly Asian I look compared to other people, yet how un-Asian I look. I don't know how an Asian's really supposed to feel, but I knew that until I looked into the mirror, I didn't feel anything strange. I felt comfortable and I felt like I belonged, then suddenly, it was the awkwardness of being outside.
I guess, though, we all get our awkward moments when we feel like we don't belong, no matter how really accepted we are by people. It's not the first time I've felt like this, and since it was my first time at the bathhouse, I'm probably not used to seeing myself in the mirror like that yet.
And my swimsuit didn't fall off =) It wouldn't have mattered since so many women there were nude, butit was nice to wear a bikini for the first time in such a comfortable surrounding.
I got a rash from the bathhouse though. I'm not sure whether it really is the bathhouse (being the hot tub, or the sauna) or it was something earlier on, but I went home with a few dots and woke up with a rash that resembled fungues. It cleared up easily, though. Meh.
Since this was Elie's last week in Halifax, we decided he had to go watch Mitchell play one last time, and this was at Tribeca.
And fucking god, I never knew how damn posh the place was. It's like a high class restaurant below, and up the stairs is a nifty bar, and everyone was so well dressed. I was there with a fucking T-shirt and jeans and everywhere I looked girls were wearing their little black numbers. Wow. Like, wow. What the hell?
Mitch, of course, played beautifully, and I met Andrea Curry again! I met her the first time I met Mitch, and saw her again at Jamie's concert, so, with all these coincidences, I made her acquaintance again and promised to go to her show on Thursday.
I'm not sure why I subjected myself to further social torture, but I had been in a really good mood after the Bathhouse so when I got Firdaus email, despite the fact that I don't really like him, I thought it would be a really good idea to go and welcome some Malaysians to Halifax.
What really happened was me yammering my head off while eating some unagi maki to Elaine and the unfortunate fellow next to me about all sorts of shit that doesn't necessarily relate to Halifax at all, even if I did make a loud entrance.
So yeah. They probably think I'm insane.
No more. No more after this. I had a motherfucker of a sore throat last night and runny nose from hell this morning, which got better, but during the course of the day I got heavy-headed and had to miss class because the air-conditioning really messes up my nose sometimes.
But either way, I promised Andrea I'd go see her play, and she has such a beautiful voice. So Elie and I headed out, but we left after her act.
Tomorrow I've got a coffee date with Stephanie.
Saturday, lunch and Elie's last downtown night.
Sunday, SMU Drama Society meeting.
Things should die down after this.
They better anyway.
So, I'm going to sit here at my computer and give you a rundown of my social life this past week. It's been extremely exciting.
Saturday, Robert and I go to Bayer's Lake to pick Robert's "downtown outfit". Bayer's Lake is inland, and the sun was shining... so it got pretty hot. Wow. Just, wow. It was like Malaysia and I regretted wearing corduroys. I normally don't regret wearing those. Anyway, Robert was driving, so it was A-OK with me that day to go to Bayer's Lake, which normally is a full day's outing for me due to the fact it's far out and I need a bus ride that takes forever there, and it's a strip mall.
At Old Navy, I bought myself underwear and a new swimsuit. I've never bought a swimsuit by myself before, so this was a real novelty. In fact, I've never bought a bikini before. For the past five years, I've been using a one-piece black swimsuit that had charming little sleeves. This swimsuit also belonged to my mother which I appropriated for myself one fine day when we were going out swimming and I discovered I no longer fit my little red swimsuit as growth spurts had arrested me during the three years I didn't go swimming.
It's white. It was also mix and match and I found it a bit awkward to find a bottom I liked so I went with white, and that was a little strange to me because it has ties at the sides. The top's fun though. It's a tube with horizontal stripes that're almost Pride Colours, but not quite (missing a couple of colours on the spectrum).
Saturday was "downtown night" for Robert, and he's planned it for three weeks but it was still pretty messy. Apparently the game plan was to start at a houseparty for pre-drinking and from there, go to the Dome and then to Reflections. The planning was to the extent that he had to provide accomodations for two people from out of town to stay the night: Ryan who will bring James and James is the one Robert really wants to see.
I refused to go to the Dome because I pretty much hated it the first time I was there, so I told Robert I'd meet up with him at Reflections around 2am. Elie and I headed out to Reflections at 12am, when Robert had just left for the Dome and we pretty much waited there until 3.15am when I was reasonably sure Robert wasn't coming and pretty damn pissed.
And who comes into Reflections, but one of Robert's friends whom he's supposed to be with came into Reflections: Sean.
Let's dwell a little on Sean.
Sean is a beautiful blonde boy. He's a head taller than I am, wonderfully ripped, slim body and blue-gray eyes. I first met Sean last last year - exactly when, I don't remember, but I do know I definitely met him at a Halloween party, where he came dressed apparently as a ninja (he now refers to it as a bondage ninja outfit) with netting and a facescarf. It was very sexy. He danced with my best friend; I would've made a move on him, but I was dating Andrew at the time. I don't get to meet him often - it's probably a total of three times I've spoken to him since then - since we're either on our way somewhere else, or engrossed in something already. I did get his phone number, but it's a little odd to call someone out of nowhere when you don't really know the person.
Elie has had a crush on this beautiful boy for... a long time. When Elie has a crush, he has a crush. It's a beautiful kind of relationship wherein Elie clings to hope for some snatch like a barnacle. Mind you, I'm just stating it as it is, I love Elie to death and he knows it.
So, Sean's in Reflections and Elie's ECSTATIC. I'm a little glad that there's some consolation for the evening, but still, I really wanted to hang out with Robert too. So we end up on the dance floor again and I'm reasonably happy because there is finally a straight boy on the dance floor telling me I'm hot.
Reflections is queer-friendly. People seem to note a trend that Friday is Straight night, and Saturday is very Gay. I've found Saturday nights to be a bit of a mix though.
A little problem starts when aforementioned straight boy starts dancing with me. In the first place, and this is going to sound strange to a lot of people, I don't like dancing with partners. Unless I've jived with them before, and I kind of know their moves and how to reasonably either take the lead or follow, I do not like proximity with other people when dancing. Sometimes I even dance defensively: I'll have my arms up front or I'll move away from whoever's coming too close. I find dancing with partners limiting, especially when they've got their hands on me. I love touch. I'm a huge cuddle-whore. But when I end up grinding with a guy, somehow it just ends up mildly uncomfortable. I really have to get into a specific mindset to enjoy that, and that mindset will depend on the guy. If he's moving too fast or too slow, I just move away, or put up with it and hope he goes away. If it's the right rhythm, he's not being too touchy but he's giving me enough, and he's pleasant to look at (sorry, I don't buy into the "it's the inside that counts" BS) I'm more inclined to stay and dance.
So I danced with Sean and obviously nightclub dancing has to end up with some making out. In the second place, Elie's calling me a slut and he hates me, and well, I guess I am. But you know what differentiates me from other sluts? I'M SOBER! In fact, I can tell you with some general clarity every time I've made out with someone on the dance floor. It isn't many times because I don't go dancing often and I don't make out on the dance floor often, but I can generally remember most of my encounters.
I manage to break off now and then, because Sean has a friend in the club too who'd wandered off somewhere and I wanted to make sure he was okay, too. I don't know, it's a habit of mine - if I'm with friends, occasionally I have to stop and check around and make sure they're okay. If they're going off with someone, I'm likely to drag them back and ask them where they're going, just to make sure they have second thoughts about it. I don't think they'd make bad judgements and make off with someone skeezy, but in a nightclub, people should look out for each other, especially if they're drinking.
We left when Reflections closed, which was a novelty for me because I've never been out that late. I'm usually home by 2am, latest 3am. To be out on the streets when the sky is brightening is... new.
Now, the story with Sean and his friend apparent was this: they'd gotten sick of Sean's ex at the houseparty and went to the Attic, a section in the Dome which plays metal music, and they'd been moshing hard in the mosh pit, until his friend, in his bright yellow T-shirt that made him stand out among black leather jackets with metal studs and cornrow hairstyles was kicked out - for moshing too hard. I'm not sure what the fun in launching himself at someone else is, but there you have it.
We went to MacDonalds because his friend was looking really beat up, bloody lip and all, and Sean himself had a few scrapes here and there. On the way there, Sean was babble-flirting with me and I find it amusing how drunk people always feel this need to talk, and they just end up making complete fools of themselves because they're babbling, and the next day they're embarrassed. I mean, I babble sometimes - but I'm usually sober. Then we meet some drunk Germans who're obviously not from around here and they stop us to ask for the time, and one of them looks at me and asks me, "Where are your pants?"
I was wearing a tiny orange blouse (with a hoodie!) and a pair of culottes so short, they didn't show from beneath my leather jacket, and that's pretty short too. For someone who spent most of her life as a tomboy, I sure have a lot of skirts O_o; I need to lose weight to wear them comfortable, but I can say that a skirt I bought when I was nine, I still have it and I could still wear it. It's pretty slick. =D
At MacDonald's, I get fries, Elie gets fries, Sean gets a drink, and we get his friend some water. Then we finally get to introducing each other. His friend is James and we start talking about how we know each other, and it turns out, James is THE James. Like, the one Robert has a crush on.
James and Sean live out of Halifax, so they've got nowhere to go until the buses start running, and they wanted to either sleep in the park or go to a 24-hour coffeeshop to hang out. But James looked really beat up, and he's Robert's friend, so I felt really bad for the two of them and offered them my place for a couple of hours to recuperate.
And that is how I ended up with two crushes of two gay friends at my place.
Although I showered, I did not change into regular sleeping clothes because that would've been kind of pointless. I napped, and occasionally got up to check on the boys (sleeping soundly. They kinda reminded me of puppies. I don't know why. But it made me really nostalgic for the times Andrew used to stay over in my room and sleep while I worked on a paper). But nobody really moved until 9am, and we chatted about - of all things - music and metal bands until 11am when they left.
In the afternoon, and I should not have done this, I went to the Art Gallery of Nova Scotia with Angi. I ended up sleeping a lot of the time I was there. But I had to, though! When I got home, my head just hit the pillow and I slept from 5pm all the way to 10pm when Elie woke me up to get to Reflections for Cher & Madonna night.
I'm obligated to go because Dave was performing that night, and I really wanted to watch him and just see some drag queens in general. And it was SO much fun!! XD
Here're some pics of Lucy Lovecock:
Me and Lucy!
Lucy in his hawt black outfit:
I left right after the show, because I was so dead tired, and well, more fun to be had the next day!
Every few months, Seadog's on Gottingen St., aka Halifax's Gay Village, goes from being a men's-only spa to a women's / transgendered-only spa. Since it's only every so often, there're events which don't normally get seen in there: demos, makeout sessions, games.
When I got there, there were a hot tub, a sauna, a makeout room, a reading room, foot massages, thai massages, and demos - specifically, fisting and nipple clamps.
It's an open space where women walk around free to wear whatever they want, and be comfortable in whatever they're wearing. In a world where women are pressured to look good at the time, it's relaxing to be in a space where I don't feel judged for what I look like, where it's okay for me to be fat, or skinny, or whatever.
But I did have this weird feeling of difference all the same. Usually when I'm among Canadians, I don't feel my difference of being Asian much, especially when I talk to them. Even when I'm explaining where I come from, and when they discuss uniquely Canadian things, I don't feel too left out. Just that at one point when I was walking from one corridor to another, I passed by a wall or mirrors and it just struck me how starkly Asian I look compared to other people, yet how un-Asian I look. I don't know how an Asian's really supposed to feel, but I knew that until I looked into the mirror, I didn't feel anything strange. I felt comfortable and I felt like I belonged, then suddenly, it was the awkwardness of being outside.
I guess, though, we all get our awkward moments when we feel like we don't belong, no matter how really accepted we are by people. It's not the first time I've felt like this, and since it was my first time at the bathhouse, I'm probably not used to seeing myself in the mirror like that yet.
And my swimsuit didn't fall off =) It wouldn't have mattered since so many women there were nude, butit was nice to wear a bikini for the first time in such a comfortable surrounding.
I got a rash from the bathhouse though. I'm not sure whether it really is the bathhouse (being the hot tub, or the sauna) or it was something earlier on, but I went home with a few dots and woke up with a rash that resembled fungues. It cleared up easily, though. Meh.
Since this was Elie's last week in Halifax, we decided he had to go watch Mitchell play one last time, and this was at Tribeca.
And fucking god, I never knew how damn posh the place was. It's like a high class restaurant below, and up the stairs is a nifty bar, and everyone was so well dressed. I was there with a fucking T-shirt and jeans and everywhere I looked girls were wearing their little black numbers. Wow. Like, wow. What the hell?
Mitch, of course, played beautifully, and I met Andrea Curry again! I met her the first time I met Mitch, and saw her again at Jamie's concert, so, with all these coincidences, I made her acquaintance again and promised to go to her show on Thursday.
I'm not sure why I subjected myself to further social torture, but I had been in a really good mood after the Bathhouse so when I got Firdaus email, despite the fact that I don't really like him, I thought it would be a really good idea to go and welcome some Malaysians to Halifax.
What really happened was me yammering my head off while eating some unagi maki to Elaine and the unfortunate fellow next to me about all sorts of shit that doesn't necessarily relate to Halifax at all, even if I did make a loud entrance.
So yeah. They probably think I'm insane.
No more. No more after this. I had a motherfucker of a sore throat last night and runny nose from hell this morning, which got better, but during the course of the day I got heavy-headed and had to miss class because the air-conditioning really messes up my nose sometimes.
But either way, I promised Andrea I'd go see her play, and she has such a beautiful voice. So Elie and I headed out, but we left after her act.
Tomorrow I've got a coffee date with Stephanie.
Saturday, lunch and Elie's last downtown night.
Sunday, SMU Drama Society meeting.
Things should die down after this.
They better anyway.
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And when I am introduced to new people, it's usually long-standing groups where I am definitely the "outsider", and my kink and geek and weirdness are so much my own in so many ways, even if I find a few facets where me and other weirdos groove, they are the exception rather than the rule.
Also, not having fun money too often and being physically handicapped by the pain and fatigue conspire to limit things more than a bit.
*sigh* I had times like yours, way back when, although nothing so open or welcoming of non-standard sexuality and sexual expression.
Any by God, you are the most adorable thing on the planet in that picture, so tomboyish and swooning. :D I could eat you with a spoon. Delish. :D
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I usually go to groups where people are meeting others for the first time as well, or else join a group where I know it will be welcoming to others. I head the local NaNoWriMo chapter and it was my job to make sure everyone was welcome.
Tomboyish and swooning. OMGEWYUCK. The two adjectives stand bad enough on their own.
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(Anonymous) 2007-06-21 09:44 am (UTC)(link)