Reaching Out

WHAT A YEAR AMIRITE

A quick rundown:

VISA SHENANIGANS:

Re-applied for the O1B; got approved. I was visiting Singapore at the time (it was fun!) and so didn't actually apply for a visa appointment until I got home, and even then I faffed about because I had to get a new passport since it was going to expire in a year or so.

Ten days before my visa interview, Malaysia went on its first COVID lockdown. I couldn't schedule a fresh appointment until late June, and by that time, the first available appointment was in January 2021.
(And that, too, has been cancelled, so my appointment is in March, because what the hell.)

EXERCISE:

I started playing Just Dance Now in my room, since I can't go swimming! For a time I was swimming very regularly at the Holiday Villa, and learned to go only at certain times of the day because otherwise the guy at the desk would get all "You need to pay bc you're a guest, not a member" since I was using my mother's membership card.

- I got a FitBit! It's an Inspire HR. I've gotten used to wearing it a lot, though I've stopped logging my water intake.

BLEH:

I do not like living with my parents. I wake up anxious in the morning waiting for my parents to quarrel and bicker and I don't go downstairs until my mom is gone because she's going to comment on my morning drink because it's too much sugar and just URGH. My dad knocks and comes in without my saying so or calls me for stupid inane things like "don't forget to take in the clothes when it's raining" or "flatten the boxes" or something that I would get to eventually, just not as quickly as he wants me to do it.

- I lost not just one, but TWO computers. My ASUS has konked out again despite promisingly working so well for a while longer. The novel I had been working on there in Scrivener is not completely lost? I still have an earlier draft with the first 1/5, but most of it was handwritten, and that handwritten material... is in California. There was also a short story draft that is now gone. I'll have to start it from scratch again--it was a difficult thing to work on though, so maybe re-starting will be better.

My old HP has also died, after about almost 10 years. The hard drive, comprising ten years of memories, is also gone, and I was so sure I had backed it up somewhere, but cannot for the life of me find the external drive. I've got bits and pieces here and there, and my writing folder is often backed up. I especially mourn the pictures I took in 2012 when I took my road trip across the States.

I'm now on one machine for both work and writing, and would like to change that. I'd like to get another ASUS T1 because the keyboard layout was very suitable for me.


GOOD:

- I made a sweet potato cheesecake. I should make another one.

- I've been doing more embroidery and invested in a 200-skein packet. I need to do more of it!


WEIRD:

- I'm now Vice-President for the Malaysian Writers Society?? I guess I am. I should do more stuff while I'm here.

- All in all, I'm a bit amazed that I've spent over a year in Malaysia now?? Since 2003, I haven't been back for more than a summer season. I'm definitely going to move the fuck out if I ever come back and re-settle here.


EDITOR THINGS

- The first two long-form debuts I ever edited have come out! THE FOUR PROFOUND WEAVES got like FOUR Starred Reviews, and NUCLEATION is such a fun space opera. They're both debuts as well, so that is also super cool. I also edited Marie Brennan's DRIFTWOOD, a fix-up novel, another first!!

- I'm also editing an anthology which has parenthood as its core theme. I'm quickly realising I... uh, would prefer working on an anthology where I get to pick out of slush, rather than one with a committed roster.

- I've also signed an NDA for a cultural consultant project.

- The last volume of HOW TO TREAT MAGICAL BEASTS that I'm adaptation editor of is out in March! I really enjoy this job, so I hope to have more chances to do that stuff.

- I was on a panel talking about food, colonization, and diaspora for the Carl Brandon Society!

- I was part of yet another Worldbuilding Master Class for Writing the Other. I think I'd like to re-visit the video and update it. I'll have to ask Tempest about that.


WRITER THINGS

I published four things this year:

"Trials by Whiteness: Definitions of Whiteness and Eurocentrism, and Their Relevance Post-RaceFail" at Strange Horizons: http://strangehorizons.com/non-fiction/trials-by-whiteness-definitions-of-whiteness-and-eurocentrism-and-their-relevance-post-racefail/

"Scholar Miaka’s Brief Summary of Memories Imbued in Memory Object Exhibit 132.NW.1" in RECOGNIZE FASCISM, ed. Crystal Huff: https://www.worldweaverpress.com/store/p171/Recognize_Fascism.html
CW: gendered violence, transphobia, slavery, physical & reproductive violence

"Mid-Autumn Incense" as part of Circlet Press' last Halloween Microfiction series: http://www.circlet.com/halloween-microfiction-mid-autumn-incense-by-september-sui/
CW: suicide

"In The Glass Hall of Supreme Women" at Fireside Fiction: https://firesidefiction.com/in-the-glass-hall-of-supreme-women
CW: body horror, misogyny, fungi


My 2019 short story "The Freedom of the Shifting Sea" got more press:
- reprinted in John Joseph Adams' BEST AMERICAN SCIENCE FICTION & FANTASY 2020, guest edited by Diana Gabaldon: http://www.johnjosephadams.com/best-american/projects/best-american-science-fiction-and-fantasy-2020/
- Carl Brandon Society Parallax Award Honors List: http://carlbrandon.org/awards/


My friend Stephani Soejono and I worked on a listicle, "Top 5 Hunting Grounds This Summer Season" which features fake local places for man-eating mermaids to go hunting: https://curiousfictions.com/stories/3278-jaymee-goh-top-5-hunting-grounds-this-summer-season

My Curious Fictions is sadly neglected because I am no good at keeping up anything regular, apparently. I do like it a lot as a platform though!


I also finished a 128k-word draft of a novel, which started out as fanfic of How Raeliana Ended Up At The Duke's Mansion (which was a manhwa I was enjoying until recent episodes where it turns out the core concept is actually quite WRETCHED and I am FURIOUS) and I've since made it its own thing. I'm doing a major re-write which is currently at 98k words and that's probably 2/3rds of the way through. I was hoping to have a better draft by the end of the year but that doesn't seem to be happening? We'll see--I'm stuck at a character death right now but maybe I'll figure it out in a bit.

The quick pitch: "A promising young woman wakes up in the body of a side character from a murder mystery romance webserial. Thing is, this character's doomed to be fridged before the story even starts! Not to mention that for a romance, there is a very high, very politicised, body count. Our intrepid side character is off to discover secrets that fanlore could only guess at, and help the hero, a duke of the kingdom (of course he is!) stop his enemies before they get the better of him."


I'm also now on AO3! My handle there is septembersongs but I don't have much, just some Girl Genius fic and Strange Magic stuff.

I had a personal trainer session this morning, since signing up with the gym gets me a free hour. She started me on the rowing machine, then did some bar balancing stuff (terrible), plank push ups (terrible but doable), TRX stuff (fun but not something I can do without a trainer apparently) and something that required squatting with my back against the wall with my hands held in front of me, and she applied pressure on my hands that I had to push again (also fun but also not something I can do without someone else).

I suppose I could have headed it off by not entertaining her questions about "what is your IDEAL" and "what are your GOALS" because honestly the reason why I like swimming is because ultimately it is pleasurable. I like an exercise that gets me into my body and has all my senses engaged, which is not a thing that I get from being on treadmills and walking. Losing weight and getting my metabolism up and whatever, that's all a bonus at this point. Like, yeah, I do want to lose weight, and sure, I would like more muscle mass, but this whole "working out efficiently" with 25 minute blasts of energy is... not my workout style. I got spots in my eyes a few times, which she thought was because I hadn't eaten beforehand, but really it was just that I'm not used to pushing myself so hard so quickly.

I did like the rowing machine a lot though, so next time I'm on my period and not going to swim, I'll use the rowing machine and see how I like it when I'm not going at it like a sprint. Or maybe I might like it enough to alternate between swimming and rowing? I got my first menstrual cup from Saalt (after taking this quiz which recommended this particular brand to me), so I'm going to give that a shot next time I'm on my period.

She also taught me what I guess is the "hollow hold"--where I had to pin my back to the ground while lifting my legs and arms up ("like a banana"). I figure I can do the plank pushups and the hollow holds while microwaving my water in the future, rather than just planks.

*

I scanned some of the documents I needed, and wow is scanning a whole goddamn ORDEAL. The scanner at Tachyon doesn't really work very well (it's fickle; some days I'll get it to work, other days only Jacob can use it, and other days, it's bricked), despite my attempts (it worked! ONCE! when I was testing it! then I closed out the program and it was bricked again). So I walked to the public library and scanned in a couple of things. Tried to scan my PhD certificate but that didn't work, so I walked to Staples to do a colour scan of it.

I also scanned my OPT card, which was another production where I couldn't just copy both sides onto one piece of paper (a common service back home in Malaysia, and something my dad taught me to do as well on home printers). I copied both sides, flipping the card over so that it would show up on a different part of the paper, then I folded the two papers together in such a way that the two copies appeared side-by-side, and scanned THAT.

*

I also have my Eligibility Post up now. I published three things last year, down from the 5 pieces I published in 2016, but given the stresses of the year, I think I did pretty okay!

So I suspect that maybe the pool is emptier on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. I woke up at 5am (-ish), and made it to the pool by 5.50, and there was nobody, even after I got out at 6.40. I only saw people in there when I was leaving at 7am.

That makes sense though; maybe other people are like me and trying to stick to a MWF schedule. Hrm, I might have to think about this some more. I wish there was just a way to, idk, book the pool?

I also made the ascorbic acid spray, and used it in the shower. I think it does work? I definitely didn't smell as much chlorine when I got out of the shower than I might have usually.

This time I tried swimming in the middle of the pool by the buoy line separating the two lanes. Every time I've swum closer to the side of the pool when someone else got into the lane, I'd end up hitting my hand against the wall and it just made swimming really awkward!

*

Folks have been suggested a Diva Cup for the days I have my period, so I can keep swimming, and I guess I really ought to give it a try. Any suggestions for buying one?

Either way I guess I should try to expand my gymming horizons, so I've booked my personal training session for next Thursday and we'll see how it goes!

So I finally got out to City Sports Club yesterday evening, and got a tour from who I think is the manager of the place. He was curious how I found the place, especially since there was a tent outside where they were having a sign-up promotion, that I naturally had no idea about. So I saved about $50 from signing up any other regular time.

The pool IS a two-lane pool, almost tiny, but long enough that it's enough of a challenge to me, a Junior Olympic. Everything else seems really nice and clean so far, and lots of machines. The manager says that I get one hour with a personal trainer to introduce me to the machines, which I may or may not do... I really just want to swim.

I went in today, after feeling like garbage for most of the morning. I had breakfast, I wrote a bit, and then I slept some more, but my headache didn't go away. It went in and out as I made my way to the gym and swam. It seems to have gone sometime during the evening, so yay.

Sharing a lane is a bit of a tricky thing, it looks like, and I wonder if my aches from the swimming is from having to adjust my strokes in a fairly unnatural way in order to fit half the lane. The other lady swimming in the lane, though, was really cool to watch. She somersaulted and kicked off her laps in one motion, which I have never really seen up close. She swam freestyle and was a very fast swimming, which made me wonder, but then, I'm swimming to get my stamina kickstarted again.

I'm trying to not feel bad about how out of shape I am, and how slowly I swim, especially when I was the youngest person in the pool. I otherwise did about 45 minutes of swimming, 15 laps, which I'm really happy about.

Newbie things:
- I put my towel on the floor because I didn't notice there were hooks by the pool
- I, uh, forgot to bring the key to the padlock. Whoops! I packed the padlock into my bag and everything! I spent a lot of time worrying whether I was gonna lose stuff.
- I didn't bring flip flops. I wonder if I do need them, but they are probably somewhat useful to have.

I need to figure out the best way to transport and air out my swimsuit. I'm also thinking a shopping trip specifically for swim stuff (though not gear) is in order... I'd like to get new towels and maybe another swimsuit or two to rotate, since I really want to get into swimming very regularly. I'm also thinking of maybe a new bag to transport stuff? I just.... already have a ton of totes and such in my arsenal which never get enough love. I have a mesh tote inherited from Theda which I might try next time.

A friend also impressed on me the need to get something to rinse the chlorine off, and suggested ascorbic acid, or Vitamin C acid, which apparently clears chlorine right off. There's a company that already makes such a thing, SwimSpray, but I also found a few other DIY Vitamin C spray mixes. Trader Joe's sells ascorbic acid, apparently, so I'll go check that out next time I'm grocery shopping that way.

Here's hoping I get to establish a new equilibrium with the exercise.

So my blood test results came back, and my blood sugar is down to 5.5, which is the normal range, so technically, I am not diabetic. I'm going to stay in the Metformin for as long as I can and see if I can quit eating so much sugary stuff (I had a slice of cheesecake tonight).

I called the Consulate-General of Malaysia today and it was a really easy phone call. The guy just took my email address down and sent me the necessary forms. I need to go get MORE passport photos and a money order (ugh) but it doesn't look hard to get to. I'll get those done on Friday, and go to the Consulate on Monday.

I also heard back from one of my other committee members! She rushed her reading, but she still had a lot of comments and said she's ready to sign off on the dissertation. Sounds like she really liked it, so, yay. The third committee member who had asked for a fall defense said she would be okay with moving ahead, but I've already filed for filing fee status, so I told her not to worry about it.

To celebrate, I went for a swim, and did 30 laps. Was almost not going to, because I REALLY needed to pee in the last few laps. Also, the hot water shut off.

I still have a lot of yawning, so tomorrow I shan't take the fluoxetine in the morning but at night. I also have what feels like a sore throat or a cold? That weird feeling at the back of the roof of the mouth like it's sort from sinus issues. Except I know I am not developing sinus issues. Apparently one of the side-effects of the antidepressant is flu-like?! WEIRDNESS.

Tomorrow I'm going to the Customs and Border Protection Deferred Inspection Site at Los Angeles, because I REALLY want to get my I-94 record corrected. It's been reading Aug 2015 even though I've exited and entered the States twice since. They have an email pilot program so I tried that, but I only get back their stupid auto-response, and I've emailed three times since and they haven't changed anything. It's weird because my travel history is showing up accurate. So I'm going to their office in person to see who I need to shake my finger at, and see if they'll fix it there and then. It could be a trip for nothing, for all I know, but it'll give me something to do.

I went to Chinatown yesterday, and had lunch with Susannah. But I found that the Ripped Bodice, which I had planned on going to after the temple to kill my afternoon, is closed on Mondays, and I'm not sure why I hadn't thought to check. So I went to the Chinatown public library instead to write. I took a 5pm train home, and had dinner with My.

I tried to swim, but some rowdy kids were in the pool taking up most of the length, so I had to swim the width of it. I dive when I first push off to the ground, and push myself up from there, and I guess it's the equivalent of doing push-ups underwater? Anyway I did it so much that some muscles in my arms felt tired in a way I never felt before. It was not very satisfying to swim such short laps, though.

Today I went to campus in the morning to do some website work only to find that there's a new website manager so I didn't even have to do anything. I came home and read.

I got through Charles De Lint's Promises to Keep and I finally read the PJ Confidential anthology. The de Lint book was okay, not the kind of book I'd pick up normally, had its moments. The PJ book, though, was atrocious. I think I liked only four stories in it, and out of those only one of them I could definitively say was well-written. The rest were middling or just too short to do their material justice. So, meh.

I swam around 6pm, after the sun had started to set, so that saved me from having to put on sunscreen. Tomorrow I'll try to read some more. I also have a psychiatrist appointment which I'm pretty excited about.

Went over to Aviya's today to do some world-saving on Eldritch Horror. We finished in three and a half hours. I ate a whole packet of Baked Lays. I do not feel the need to eat dinner after this.

When I got home, it was hella hot.... 32'C after sundown!!! And we're expecting a heatwave, so temperatures of 40+ in the next week. I plan on swimming every single week. But since it was still so warm, I decided to head to the pool at 8pm, and swam until 9-ish. Got to 27 laps this time, and I feel I might have been able to do more. I will try again in a couple of days to go to 30 laps. I will also try to swim every single day and -- sigh -- give the swim cap another shot. Even if my hair gets damp maybe I don't have to wash it?? Blah.

I also need to do some shopping for... clothes that fit. Specifically shorts that fit. A lot of my shorts no longer fit snugly around the hips the way they should. So they hang, and my butt looks weird as a result. My silhouette doesn't look right anymore wearing these things. It is desperately shallow, and theoretically I can wear all these things still, but honestly their pockets are not even worthwhile putting up with their ugliness! The shirts I have a reasonable amount that I look good in, so they can stay, but I need good shorts. I'll have a bunch to bring to the WisCon Clothing Swap, at least.

And while I'm shopping, I might as well invest in some sort of bathrobe, because I am spending a lot of time loafing around naked in my bedroom after my post-swim bath, mostly because my hair is wet so I don't want it on clothes I'm going to wear out or sleep in. I'm considering making out, using the obnoxious amounts of silk-like material I've got in my stash, but the patterns I'm finding seem to call for terry. I might as well just go for it anyway though. It's not like the pattern cares, and I'm not wearing it out!

After a week of radio silence, I sent my adviser an email, with a new email thread, asking about a new timeline and feedback on my diss and whether I can submit my diss for format review.

She got back to me and said she really liked my fourth chapter, that I basically delivered more than expected, and the dissertation's finally ready to be sent to the rest of my committee. So of course this meant I stayed up until 4am, checking footnotes and making sure everything looked okay so I could save it as a PDF for submission.

Today I went to campus specifically to shut down the office computer and send my diss along, asking if they could let me know whether there was feedback I'd need more than a month to address. Either way, I FINALLY submitted my diss for format review. ProQuest was an arcane thing which made me feel like I was being hoodwinked somehow. I could pay nothing and just let my diss be searchable on engine, or I could pay $95 and have my diss be distributed on more media and this latter option is called "Open Access"??? That's fucked up. And the whole thing about CC licenses, gah, IDK, in the end I went with no licenses, and no copyright purchase, because I just couldn't deal. I'm hoping I don't regret it and get to go back and change some things.

Anyway, format review!! It's one of the very latter stages of dissertating so.... I'm kind of shaken up about it.

I also meant to turn in my office key (and other keys) but Vonnie wasn't around, and I would rather give them to her directly and thank her for being so cool about letting me keep the office way past my time.

I saw Aviya in her office and chatted with her a while, and Soonyoung was doing her third written exam so I walked with her afterwards. Then I came across JJ and walked home with her too. I went to Starbucks to write some fanfic (delayed Strange Magic Week prompts) and spin some Pokestops.

After dinner, I armed myself with shoes and my Pokemon Go Plus, and did my evening thing. Every time there was a long stretch, I'd break into a short jog. At first, I did it up to a count of 20, then I was doing 30s, and 40. I can't really tell what a full second looks like, and didn't want to overdo it by running a full five minutes when I don't even know what that looks like.

It was good! I think I definitely pushed myself a little without burning myself to exhaustion. I stopped to check the pokegyms, but otherwise did not stop at all. Gosh it's so nice to be able to keep going with minimal stopping?? And STILL catch pokemon? I am digging it.

Gonna *try* to sleep earlier tonight.

Man I need to get to bed earlier tonight. I went to bed last night at 2, woke up at 10am, which is enough sleep, but by the time I got going, it was afternoon, blergh.

I took a Lyft over to Cellar Door Books, and picked up some books. Linda, the owner, asked me for help getting Latin@ YA and I was like "UH" and had to rack my brain for some names, and asked Twitter. Went to KFC to have lunch, and remembered about WNDB's resources, so I went back to the bookstore.

Anyway, because I was so helpful, Linda told me I was welcome to any of the ARCs in the back room, so I went round the back, and picked up Justina Ireland's Dread Nation, which I'm pretty excited about.

I walked to campus to pick up some more books and clear out my mailbox. Vonnie and I spoke a little--I guess the weight loss is SUPER visible to some people. IDK, I think I look mostly the same.

Walked home with my tea set and water filter, and tomorrow I'll grab the kettle, and then have to figure out how I'm bringing home the posters.

I went to swim later than usual--5pm. Did 4 sets of 6 again, and it got cold again, so I sat in the hot tub again. IDK, I'm not a fan of it. I bought a swim cap and new goggles last night and wish I'd thought about it sooner. I should have also bought a lap counter, too, now that I think of it. But as September rolls in, it will probably get colder? So I'll be at the pool less, probably. I'm gonna see if I can push my laps up to 30 before fall officially gets here, because that would be nice as a personal best. Then I gotta figure out what to do next.

I went to MacDonald's again tonight, this time with a coupon for a Happy Meal. I actually liked it! Four nuggets, half a small fries (SO SMOL!), a chocolate milk, a thing of yogurt (yogurt!!!) and I was actually quite full after. I think that might have been the combo of the yogurt and the milk. I had tummy issues after, which I'll chalk up to the milk, so next time I'll get it with the small orange juice and see how my stomach plays with that, and hopefully it's not the yogurt.

I was thinking of walking to campus to put away some books I'd strewn across a table which was not mine, because Brittany has office hours tomorrow (I think?) so I really shouldn't have all that stuff there. But I thought I'd go home and try to get some sleep early instead, and try waking up earlier.

Today I did a rare thing: I had rice porridge for the first time in a while, with some spam, and for dinner I went to McDonald's, about two blocks away. Apparently it's been there a while and got refurbished? IDK. I tried out the touchscreen menu thing and ordered food without talking to anybody. This is how I found out that it is possible to get only FOUR pieces of chicken nuggets, not the 10 on the main menu, not the 6 I grew up with. So that is what I did. I also treated myself to a chocolate milkshake, but alas, it was too sweet to be really satisfactory.

It was also really cold inside, where the cushioned seats were, so bleh. I went to sit outside on the patio for a while and that was nice, but blah, the seats were not comfy. So much for trying to get some book reading or writing done.

I really should try to get out to campus tomorrow, maybe do a hike (and see if I can get a clipping of my favourite rosebush while I'm out there). I need to clear out my office some more too.

Still no work from my adviser on the state of my dissertation. I hope it's not because it's too much garbage to wade through.

I'm otherwise feeling pleased because I finally finished reading a couple of back issues laying in my e-reader, and am now going to read the August Lightspeed issue. I'm a bit tired from staring at the screen a lot and should try to figure out some better reading habits. But the rest of my room is overwhelming (or boring) to look at (I keep thinking I need more containers or whatever). I don't like looking out the window because it's so fucking bright. Gaaahhh IDK.

Last night Emily called me because I felt particularly moody and we chatted for several hours as we took our respective walks. I have discovered it is possible to run Pokemon Go while on the phone in this way.

I swam 18 laps today in under an hour! I feel ready to try for 21 next time ^^