Reaching Out

So the first night passed without incident. I was so tired I just dropped off to sleep, and was woken by the call of the AT&T guy. So I had Internet with me all day yesterday!

I decided to start unpacking my bedroom stuff first. Put the two black shelves in two inner corners of my room, and my sewing stuff along the wall between them. Because of dust, I decided I'd just grab some fabric scraps from my bins and use them for liner. It worked out nice I think.... the room has a definite more cheerful look than without.

I also put away most of my clothes last night. Now using the plastic drawers formerly for crafts for clothing like jammies, underwear, bras. I set up my wire cubes and got a couple more of the fabric cubes. Set one aside for freshly laundered t-shirts (it is a bit hard to navigate arranging clothing in the fabric cubes. Also got one of those large ottoman cubes for my winter stuff.... it is surprisingly sturdy, like I could sit on it forever without incident.

The socks were tricky to organize.... I have daily-wear socks, formal socks, winter socks, and sports socks, and they all need to be easily accessible somehow (except the winter ones, those went into the ottoman). I also had to split between "everyday shorts" and "kinda everyday bottoms but not really" (i.e. skirts, trackpants). I have way too much stuff, generally. Found a cockroach among my stockings though *glare*

After clearing away most things, I had the mother of all allergies coming to visit, and had to get some anti-histamines in me: got a fexafenodine, and a different thing. I guess they reacted badly with each other because I woke up with some intense hives.

I also have a quandary re: my computer table. It's a gorgeous L-shape desk which I meant to fit at the bottom of my bed, the side at the foot of the bed (which faces the window and sits between the closet and a shelf). But I think I really like being able to move around the bed at will, and can move my electronics to the shelf currently behind the table (which has a lot of craft stuff). But then, what to do with the other half of the table?? IDK yet... I kind of want to trade it with someone who has a smaller table. Craigslist tends to have older furniture for sale, and I'm thinking of trading... maybe there's someone out there who needs a larger table than they currently have and have got a table that fits my specs. I'm not optimistic though. (It's also pretty important for there to be some space, because I also need some sewing space.)

Alternatively, I could set up the other table against the wall where the craft things are, as the sewing station, and have the sewing machine set up there permanently. There's the question of what to do with the corner piece. I'll think on it further.

My microwave is definitely broken. I'm not sure what to do about it. I'd like to be able to get it fixed but apparently this is not a thing. The other thing to do is make sure it gets disposed of safely and get a new one. Functioning without a microwave is kind of an interesting thing. I never realized how dependent I am on one... especially with all those plastic tubs! I might give it a go of continuing to function without one for the next couple of weeks until JC gets back, and ask him to get a new microwave in exchange for being so nice about moving all the stuff without his help.

So, in between the hives and indecision and I probably also need more containers for organizing the kitchen, I'll have to start on the living room soon....

This morning, JC and I took the bus to campus. It's rare for me to want to take the bus because to me campus is so close I might as well leave whatever time I want, and just walk.

I've been thinking through really carefully primary texts for my dissertation like Dr. HBZ has been telling me. Mostly I've been looking at graphic design, but maybe there's something to be said about having some particular primary texts that discuss the things I'm looking at.

In my dissertation first chapter, I'm looking at some steampunk motifs, in pairs, and right now it looks like this:
Gears - rayguns (evoke adventure)
Goggles - airship (evokes mad science)
Corsets - tea (evokes Englishness, and sense of self-display, which I call promenade)

I thought about it further in relation to the theories I'd like to think of them with:

Gears - ray guns - evokes adventure - expansive capitalism that comes from unrootedness (gears as units can be moved from machine to machine, rayguns as weapons displace)

Goggles - airship - evokes mad science - globalization that comes from scientific inquiry stemming from post-Enlightenment desire to demystify and conquer the unknown (wear goggles in the lab, use the airship to explore, then create the train system to grid and manage known lands)

and here's where it got interesting, because I wasn't sure I cared very much for the tea thing... I was gonna use it to symbolize how steampunks indulge in "Englishness" by drinking tea (which would give me an excuse to talk about tea-dueling) and ignore the globalizing violence that comes from the tea (and sugar) trades but I found it more compelling to think about corsets through the theory of anatomo-politics... Foucault's lesser-known concept; biopolitics is more important.

What are anatomo-politics? they are basically forms of disciplining the body, on an individual level. Anatomo-politics then feed biopolitics, which are forms of disciplining populations, determining wider-scale life-and-death patterns based on which bodies are more desirable to maintain.

Corsets - prosthetics - evokes promenade - both are forms of anatomo-politics, and I want think through Michel de Certeau's theory of movement and space since when in costume, there will be some negotiation of such (corsets bind the body's silhouette, prosthetics signify, in crip drag, a desire to compensate for lack, or, out of crip drag, a desire to break biological limitations and be more efficient)

Unfortunately, the only primary text that definitively talk about the feelings that these things evoke, is Hugo, in relation to gears. I'm still cobbling together other possible texts, and will have to read widely for it.

Interestingly, when I looked over my string of notes from very early on, I found that I'd already paired corsets with prosthetics, so I'm really going back to an original idea, just with a better theoretical approach.

I had a great chat with Foz Meadows about how the corset would have become a fashion thing, and we figure that it's due to the burlesque pinups. I have a theory about the Makers in steampunk who're inspired by the old Wild Wild West series, and the Disney Victorian science fiction movies, and how they would have returned to that aesthetic when they were affluent enough to do so. And I figure something similar happened with corsets--a generation after they phased out as underwear, popularized in the burlesque scene (where it's common to subvert norms), girls turn to the corset when they become women and gain the affluence to wear them as a highly-sexualised fashion style.

All this, while freaking out over having to make phone calls to AT&T and just about breaking down into tears because I absolutely could not handle being on the phone, not at all, and not being able to move is so stressful to think about, I cannot deal.

I left campus around 2pm, because I was finally way too hungry, and calmed down while eating fried rice. So I felt slightly better, and went downtown to the Utilities and ask them to delay my service at the new place. When I got home, I called AT&T and managed to not die on the phone. (I freaked out a bit and thought they'd canceled my service because my internet was not connecting. Halfway thru the phone call, I unplugged the modem and replugged it in and it was fine. Oh well.)

JC and I went to Busy Cafe (where I had eaten earlier) and we hammered out some basic details, agreements on tidiness and chores, what we wanted to clean and how often. Sorted out maximum number of parties per month (1), houseguesting, volume. So... yeah apparently I am capable of adulting on the roommate challenge.

We walked to campus because I saw some boxes in my department and wanted to grab any left (there was just one) and JC had to return books to the library. It was a really nice cool night out! And he showed me the route he used when walking home to his apartment, which is closer to where the new place will be than mine is. It's weirdly convoluted, but he assures me that it's an extremely direct and takes less time to get to campus than sticking to the main roads.

A few friends have volunteered to help me out on Friday, but in the morning instead. That makes me a bit nervous because I have an afternoon appointment at 2pm, but it looks like with as many people as we have, we might be able to be done in just a few hours? As long as I have my crap together, and have things ready for folks to grab and go, it will be relatively painless and efficient. Irene's letting me borrow her dolly too. And I'll cook lunch for them.

I hope it works out okay.

Yesterday I went to the beach with Lisa and Nalo.... Venice Beach. I packed my picnic mat, my folding chairs, five ham sammiches, a change of clothes, sunscreen and a towel.

The beach was okay! The wind was kind of chilly, the water was hella cold, but the sand was hellishly hot. Lisa drove up from San Diego, we got Nalo around 9am, were there early enough to get a good parking spot. Nalo and I caught some waves, and mostly we hung around on our mats reading or sleeping. I edited the first three chapters of my novel, which I've decided must be middle-grade, and I have a better sense of how I want to revise it. So, that means, it's coming with me on the plane! I also wrote a poem, and read the entirety of jolantru's WOLF AT THE DOOR.

We wandered around after a while, and checked out some places nearby. (This included a house with..... very interesting outside decor. Lisa told us about it on the way there, and she said, "there're cameras all over the place and it's so clear that the owners don't want anybody coming up to ask questions but, like, dude, there's a demon on your house.")

I managed to get them to go to Little Sheep Hot Pot on the way back since Hacienda Heights is off the 60, and it was an excellent time!

For all my prep, though, I still ended up with a hella nasty sunburn on my left thigh, and a bit around the edges of my swimsuit top. I guess I missed. When I got home, I went to Kmart and got some new shampoo and some aloe gel and have been spreading the aloe liberally all over the burn all day today.

Because of the burn, I spent most of today sitting in underwear. Which, considering I spent most of today watching movies, isn't really an issue. Watched:
- A NYMPHOID BARBARIAN IN DINOSAUR HELL (terrible)
- THE PHANTOM TOLLBOOTH (cute)
- THE MAGICAL LEGEND OF THE LEPRECHAUNS (silly Hallmark movie that's actually really fun)

I also managed to pack a lot more today! I got my winter clothing, all the stuff on hangers, and sweaters into storage bags and boxes. I also packed away my altar stuff into a box I esoterically labeled "Lung, Kirin, Frog and Lotus on a Railway". There's a bunch of stationery I probably should just get a container for rather than put into a box. And I really need to decide what I'm bringing back to Malaysia since most of my clothes are packed away, and I've got two big luggage bags I'd like to take home with books for research. But they can't top 25kg and I have no idea how to weigh them so they don't hit that limit, ooops. I don't really have much by way of clothes to bring home either.

- Had a meeting with my committee chair yesterday, which went well! She really likes my new headnote and wants me to revise the last paragraph--I took my friend's advice a bit too seriously, she thought, and rather than look at the fields I'm studying, I should look at the fields I'm researching (which in this case is steampunk and Malaysian studies) (she really liked the parallel I drew between the formation of whiteness and the discourse of "bangsa Malaysia").

- Joe came over last night and I made fried pork chops and mashed potatoes. They were still bloody on the inside but Joe didn't mind and liked it anyway (said they were better than the fried pork he normally gets at our favourite cafe, even, whee). I'll have to nuke the pieces next time before frying, so they're cooked on the inside too.

We talked about professors, his potential committee (he's in first year) and the fact that he gets three years to work for his quals (compared to my two). Which sounds great at first? But then we compared funding packages and he has to pay NRT, which, uh, yikes. He has to pay $17/k per year! And this despite the fact that he receives less than $8k total than I do. Compared to him, I practically get a free ride! What on earth.

But then, I was told very early on, a school that gives you a great deal of funding is a school that clearly values you, and I guess I did the right thing in sticking to Comp Lit, rather than trying for English. There're a LOT of grads in English which could be a good thing in getting some things done, but I think there's something to be said about a smaller dept that thus has more money to spread around.

Then we talked a bit about where we want to move to. Preferrably, I'd like to stay close to the university, but he wants to move further away. Canyon Crest, which is kind of the next neighbourhood over, is kind of a good compromise. There's a "towne center" with quaint shops and cafes and restaurants, even a bar with the occasional concert which is cool. We also have similar tastes in apartment choices, and we'll probably go over there to check out potential places to live in a bit. We initially picked a place that seemed out of the way, but it is kind of... far from any bus stop and the grocery store.

Our priorities seem to have worked together really well. He's been warned that I bake at irregular hours, expect him to help me eat stuff, and I will most likely have earthworms. (Earthworms are a pretty important part of my life, these days. I'm thinking a small wastebasket lined with a mesh bag this time; food goes into the mesh bag, worm castings will fall out into the wastebasket proper, and at some point, I can temporarily lift the bag into a different basket and clear out the castings.) He's gone most of June and I'll be gone mid-July to mid-August, so... we'll have to figure out how to coordinate moving around. I'll probably start putting my stuff in storage after quals and move out when I go home, and then when I get back I can bum off living with someone else for a couple of weeks until the lease starts. But who knows? Maybe we'll find a landlord who will let us move in a bit earlier for no extra charge.

- As we ate, I said, "oh, if your parents ask, I'm the lesbian." And he laughed and laughed. But he's the one who's not out to his parents, whereas I think my parents have an inkling that I'm queer and they should therefore not be surprised if I shack up with a woman instead (as long as I get kids, anyway).

- I'm gonna finish reading a section of my Cultural Studies list and finish off the last of my PoCo readings, and write a reading report for Dr. G. Also revise the last paragraph of my headnote. Once I'm done the PoCo list, really, I can move onto the SF list, which I've read half of but need to re-read and also get started on the non-fiction. (In retrospect, I should have put the SF non-fiction reading onto my PoCo list in lieu of the queer and women's studies section, since they are far more relevant. I might still be able to do this.)

- I'm not too keen on moving but I would really like to save money. This will be the first time in almost ten years that I've lived with a roommate, and a roommate who's a friend, too. Fortunately we're not as close as MF and I were, and I think J has a lot fewer hangups about tidiness and clealiness. Probably helps that we're not both in our early 20's (I think he's a couple years younger). It'll probably be a lot of fun? It'll be like living with a younger brother, except I've never had a younger brother and I've never even lived just me and my own actual elder brother.

- I'm going to till the soil of my current patio a bit more and bury the organic material that's been dropping in and hopefully that will help the next occupant plant better. Maybe. It's a lot of clay soil. From the threads I've been reading it takes at least two years of amendment before results happen. I've definitely been working on and off on this patch for two years now so maybe it will help.

- Also, something is sprouting at the corner of my garden. I'm not sure what, but it looks suspiciously like the squash plant I planted last year, but in a different place. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa the squash has come back to liiiiiiiiiiife! (It grew to be a real monster last year, taking over half my patio! We'll see what this one does!!)

OK.

So I had my full 8 hour sleep and the flight was fairly uneventful. Regina was a little late, but I don't care. She got me to Public Utilities, so now I have an electricity account, and then we went to Copper Canyon to sign my lease, check out my apartment and stuff.

My apartment doesn't face east like I requested, but west. It's a ground-level apartment too, so that means, I have a patio. It's actually a nicely sized patio, about the side of my bedroom I think, and it's got dirt edges, and I can't wait to plant things there. Lavender, I think, and basil, rosemary, oregano, maybe curry leaves. Regina has a lemongrass (!!!!!) that she's developing; she says she'll give me a stalk when it's grown a bit more (she has it in a too small pot right now, so it's not spreading as much as it could).

We went to Regina's apartment, where I met her husband Jon, and we had lunch, and I Napped For A Long Time (4 hours). After which, we went to Target, where I bought an obnoxious amount of cookware.

Dropped them off at my new place (at which point, Regina noticed a black widow spider Right By My Door). Hrm.

This morning, we were out and about by 11am, and went to Home Depot to get some stuff. I bought some random things (notably a microwave, a trowel and watering can). Then to Sears for a vacuum cleaner, and I also got some eating ware (oddly enough, no cutlery, although I admired some at Target) and enough tupperware to last me four years.

Then it was off to find a mattress store (and I got a really good mattress and box spring for $559 together), Staples where I got a corner table and chair, and then FINALLY after much searching, an AT&T.

(951) 892-4189 if anyone's interested in messaging. Don't call; I just had someone call and I could barely make out their words (and their number didn't show up; it said "private number"). I can't tell if it's my phone or them. Anyways. Just send me a text. I like receiving texts.

There was supposed to be another good long nap AT&T it took us FOREVER. VERY productive tho. We did come back for a quick nap, and then Regina and Jon dropped off my stuff and left me alone in my apartment for me to start putting things together while they went to a church service. I left the table for last, and was just about to get started on it when they came back with some pizza for me. We went to the nearby KMart and Stater Brothers so I could check out the stuff they have (and get some stuff to eat, too).

(I also killed the black widow spider with the Raid that Jon gave me... I felt bad about it, but black widow spiders! Venomous! Might kill me! Therefore cannot live.)

We got back, and finished off the table. I now have a mess of boxes on my floor and I should figure out what the complex does about recycling.

I still have no bookshelves. And no hobby table. And no cutlery. I'm still considering getting a couch or something so I can entertain, but may have to settle for getting some giant cushions. I also have to take into consideration the fact that I have a FUCKTON of stuff coming in my mail so I need to think about that too.

I'll take pics when I can. Kinda forgot about it in the last while.

No idea what's happening tomorrow since it's Monday and thus everything's closed. I'll probably offer to help re-pot Regina's lemongrass tho.

Anyway. I'll have my own internet after the 13th when I get my modem. So. Soon!

Things Accomplished Today:

- Clearing my kitchen of bottles and cleaning most of it. Just the floor left to clean.

- Finished the dress on my table that took FOREVER. Well, the bottom's unhemmed, but that's not a big deal. Now it's done enough that I can pack my sewing machine away in peace.

- Sent off the hopefully last round of packages. I accidentally gave Wilma one of the boxes that I meant to send home (it's filled with thermal underwear that I just don't use).

- Clear out the living room closet.

- Got out of the house to see Allison's play (well, one of them)

Things to do tomorrow:

- Because I'm stupid, I put off mending my dad's trousers (which has a faulty zipper) and I accidentally packed away the zipper I bought for that. So I'll have to get a new zipper tomorrow, even if I don't fix his pants. I can keep it away and since I'm bringing home the sewing machine, I'll fix it when I get home.

- Clear the bedroom.

- Clear the living room. All boxes that I want packed, are packed. Just there's a lot of other crap on the floor.

- Take out the table and printer stand.

- Preliminary pack the last bag

- Something do all this before 3pm when Sarah comes over so we can go see Allison's second play.

- Do laundry

Fortunately, my ride to the airport only comes at 5pm on Monday, so there's a lot of time for me to do the final cleanup.

Man, moving is depressing.

The corset class is over! I was the second person to finish, and apparently the rest of this week they're going to learn how to make strapless bras. Boo! I want to learn how to make a strapless bra too! I want to learn everything, really.

But I have a new corset! It has DC superheroines on it and I am pleased as punch.

Turns out one of my classmates had been hankering to move back to Ontario, and if she'd known that I was moving and looking for someone to take over my apartment, she would have spent her weekends here looking for jobs (she's been here five weeks!! for the pro-fitting course and then these other classes). Sigh. She's run out of money so she can't afford to move now, oh well.

But yeah, gonna stay busy busy busy over the next few days. Almost done packing!!

So as some of you know, I am moving to California and have to transport stuff across the border. Except moving companies are expensive. My major things are a bed, a printer, a piano keyboard, and a sewing machine, but the rest are pretty replaceable.

My books, not so much. I don't have enough books to warrant a 2500lbs minimum but that's still quite a hefty number of books.

SO, WHO WOULD LIKE TO BORROW MY BOOKS UNTIL THIS FALL?

It'll work like this:

1) I'll create a master list of the books I have and throw it up on Google Docs.

2) If you're interested in borrowing a book from me, write your name in. Try to keep it reasonable, because

3) I'll pack them in boxes and mail these books to you. I'll take care of the shipping.

4) You keep the boxes, because when you are done reading the books, and I'm safely ensconced in California, you can use that same box to mail the books back to me.

This way, I get to keep my books and get them transported to me anyway, and YOU get to read books you might not want to actually buy for yourself.

Thoughts?

1) I had a meeting with my supervisor today. I'm getting myself re-organized for my project. She had a few problems:

a) my argument of steampunk as aesthetic. Essentially, the problem with arguing with steampunk as aesthetic is that it indicates that steampunk is depoliticized, whereas I'm arguing that steampunk absolutely has politics. And I need to clarify this. Mike Perschon has told me before, "steampunk is an empty vessel" which I agree with in general, but only because I think steampunk would be incredibly easy to resignify, if folks weren't so resistant to the idea of it. So I need to make sure I have a clarification that this is part of my project; that I'm calling out the dysconsciousness that way too many steampunks exhibit and I want to put a call for resignification of the aesthetic into something politicized, radical, and really alternate.
A
b) how I was discussing the texts. Basically I was kinda just listing out stuff that made up the elements of steampunk without actually bringing out a cohesive argument on what all this stuff meant. Talking about technology and thinking through technofantasy yesterday has helped me a great deal in figuring out how the steampunk elements, as a toolbox work together to really create an alternate politics and an alternate vision of the future. And I realized I was kinda of discussing the elements ass-backwards.... I was listing off how technofantasy manifests in the texts, because really, that's first we notice in the steampunk visual culture, the alternate history 'cos that's the next thing we notice, then how the past is evoked. However, for a more coherent argument, it makes more sense first to talk about the choice of history to use for the story, followed by the injection of tech into this kind of history that lends itself to the alterity (or alternateness) that comprises this steampunk story. And we see that the way we generally do approach this form of creation is that we end up replicating forms of commodity fetishism and whiteness, which calls into question whether or not we're REALLY doing alternate history in steampunk. Which is cool stuff yea?

c) and of course the fact that certain things I was talking about, such as POV protagonists and language, are general writerly concerns, not steampunk-specific things. However, I still feel really strongly about language, and supervisor said that, maybe language could be a thing that evokes the past (one of the elements, as in Peshawar Lancers and a ton of steampunk performances) or technology (which I think is a really strong argument to be made for Gaslight Dogs). I'll have to think on this more, though. I really do think language adds to the framing of the texts, especially in Gaslight Dogs, where Sjenn's language is absolutely imperative in understanding how she relates to her Dog (which I argue is the technofantasy of the piece).

So, major writing of new material, and then a decision to be made on how to restructure stuff, if indeed I need to do a major restructure overhaul. I've decided I'm going to unpack the different elements as in #b but I'm still going to treat its text as its own thing, rather than slotting in discussion of texts into the discussion of the elements. I think it'll be more sensical that way to show how each other uses the elements.

But I find it very difficult to go in piece by piece, and often I have to start from the beginning again and blaaaahhhh.

2) I went to get the keys to Vinh's apartment and sign the lease for September. I put in a request to have the benches in the kitchen repainted because white is just an awful colour for wood, and I think I'll ask if the same can be done for the kitchen cabinets. Kitchen's a lot smaller than I thought it'd be, for some reason. But the rest of the apartment is gloriously huge. And the kitchen table is SO NEAT. I could do a ton of writing work there, and it's just so cozy to have a friend or two over for dinner. I'm keeping Vinh's bookcases, couch and coffeetable (which I could use as a TV stand) (if I want a TV). I'm trying to make a decision here on whether or not to keep the landline and television service, or give up on television entirely. I should have asked how the doorbell works because I know it's tied to the landline somehow, but I can ask tomorrow. But anyway, I should ask Bell if there's any way I can skip out on August payment, because I just ain't going to be around. I better call tomorrow.

3) I got my right-side fourth lobe hole re-pierced, with a shiny 16-gauge rainbow CBR in it now. Maybe someday I'll take it out. I'm really digging having the horseshoe earrings in my first and second holds, but my third lobe hole appears to hate 16g? I'm not sure what its deal is. But it sure is irritating. The first lobe hole is quite well-situated and needs no encouragement to stay open, just the last two.

4) I went for a walk much later today, 8.30 instead of 8 as usual, but man, that was a good thing. Around 9-ish while I was headed back (it takes me about half an hour to reach Sanctuary Park, at which point I turn back) I saw fireflies! I thought it was just a trick of the light when I saw my first one, but a few minutes later, I saw so! many! fireflies! So pretty! And I kept seeing them! Even in my front yard! And right by my apartment door! I am so much more positively inclined to this place now except I am moving away. And it is still fucking cold in this basement. It'll be nice to move to somewhere where I can get a breeze that won't freeze.