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I Am Pro-Choice
Jun. 17th, 2006 12:07 amI bought a book today: "A Difficult Decision: A compassionate Book About Abortion" by Joy Gardner. Glancing through the list of contents, I decided this was a must-have in my personal library. It's not a prepossessing book - it's shoddily binded with two messy staples and it won't fold properly. The thing looks photocopied, but it's readable in stark black text on light brown sturdy paper.
I can't seem to find a date on when this was written - there's a note on the cover which says that the entire text has been reproduced, but the content has been condensed so the page numbers are inaccurate. Mysteriously, it also says, "It is unknown if the original book is still unavailable", and the text was taken from the Florida School of Midwifery. "If you are able to copy any or all of this to pass on to people, it is encouraged. No permission was received in the first place, besides information is to be shared NOT stored."
It begins with a preface that lists down Ms. Gardner's beliefs regarding abortion, most of them fair and lacking judgement towards those who do and don't. It also clearly states that this book is also geared towards the partners of the women - men.
It moves on to consider circumstances surrounding abortion - how to make the decision? What if the woman wants to keep the baby? What are her options? What comes of adoption? And what about the men? What about their considerations, their reactions and the consequences of the abortion on them? It's sympathetic to both camps, and to many sides of the story.
This book then discusses biological ways of discerning at which stage of pregnancy a woman is in, and what methods of abortion are available for certain stages of pregnancy. It talks about pregnancy and fetal stages, about pregnancy tests, and other accompaying problems. The next chapter moves onto the spiritual aspect of pregnancy - can mothers speak to their children before they're born? When does a fetus contain a living soul? There's a little exercise which helps a woman decide what she wants to do through visualization. And of course, no discussion of spirituality can end without a discussion on the sacredness of life.
(For Wiccans, this is very similar to pathworking.)
(And life is sacred. That's why we don't bring in children into the world unless we truly revere their right to the world. We don't bring children in "just because", or because we have no choice. It must be a choice. We can choose to respect a child as a life full of possibilities, or we can choose to view a child as a burden and a responsibility to shoulder, just because it furthers the species.
If you came from ShinraOnline, you might remember Galladoorn. His daughter Madison was an accident, but he says, "she's the best accident that ever happened to me!" He married the mother and they're a beautiful, loving, godly couple.)
Gardner moves on to discuss the politics attached to abortion - no surpise there, because the issue is really fraught. Her position is that pro-life is anti-choice, while pro-choice means a woman is free to choose whether she will keep the baby or not, and she should be supported in her decision. Pro-lifers also have this insistence on abolishing abortion, but lack care for the women who DO choose to keep their babies, but don't have the resources to. That was something I had never really considered before - I knew that lack of resources was a reason for abortion (it would be one of mine), but I suppose I lack faith in society to provide me with such precious resource, to help me keep my baby. So the book's not all about abortion, but what options a woman can also consider, if she wants to keep the baby.
It may be politics, but these are morality considerations too. We as a society sometimes forget that women also choose to keep their babies as they also choose to abort. We forget single mothers need our help too, and in many places in the world, they are still shunned. It's a hard choice, isn't it? Shunned as a single mother, but denied an abortion. It's hardly a position any woman would want to be in, and as a result, many of us end up shutting down our sexuality, refusing to deal with it for fear of being in such a position.
Then there are descriptions of the procedures, what is done, what a woman may feel during those times, the risks attached. There are home remedies that induce abortion (none scientifically tested, though) - and finally, ways of dealing with the grief that accompanies an abortion.
There are cruel, callous people in the world who get abortions regularly as a form of contraception. They have no respect for the possibility of life within their wombs, seeing it as a minor inconvenience and squashing the flame as easily as flicking a switch. These women may have their reasons for believing so. If I knew someone who did that and gave me no satisfactory answer ("because I didn't want it" is not a good answer for using abortion as a contraceptive), I would tell her off in her face, and possibly spit on her.
An abortion IS an inconvenience, but for many women, it's a traumatic event - it's a death. And as with all deaths, we must grieve.
There are "case studies", more like examples of people who have had abortions and how they coped with it. And finally, a satisfactory closing of a spiritual belief, and a kindly word for those who may be going through this particular tribulation in life.
With the first twenty pages, I'm moved. I can't read this without crying. As a woman who believes in sexual freedom and liberation, these are important considerations I have to make regarding my body. What do I do to prevent having children before I'm ready? What happens if I have a child? What if I'm raped? Do I keep it? Do I have the support system required for such a responsibility? Do I have the emotional strength to go through with a pregnancy of a child that wasn't wanted?
More importantly, what are my options?
As a human being, I have the right to know what my choices are in face of adversity. What if someday, while I'm off contraceptives, I'm raped and I conceive from it? What if an accident with my partner occurs? How do I deal with an unwanted / unexpected pregnancy when I'm not ready for a child? What questions do I ask, what answers will I get?
Because we still live in a feckless society that prefers to scorn women that face this adversity instead of helping them, these are important considerations for a woman. She must know she has choices before she can take responsibility for herself, and she also has the responsibility to find out for herself her choices in all aspects of life. The people who love her also have the responsibility of helping her become educated on her choices on this issue, too. All human beings have the responsibility of helping each other out in knowing our choices in life.
I don't want to be in such a position, where I'd have to make such a decision, but in the eventuality that it happens, I can't run from it, but it's MY choice to say "Yes" or "No". Normally, I"m a cynical person and I sometimes don't care about certain things - sometimes I lack empathy because I'm so involved in what's going on in my world. If I could live like that all the time (like how so many people do), I wouldn't be at this computer crying. But I feel for these people and I understand their position.
This problem may never be mine, for all I know, but it still hits close to home, as a woman and as a person who wants to be a parent someday.
It's not that I can't help it, but I am pro-choice, and I choose to care.
It's a great book. For those in Halifax, you can get it at Venus Envy.
I can't seem to find a date on when this was written - there's a note on the cover which says that the entire text has been reproduced, but the content has been condensed so the page numbers are inaccurate. Mysteriously, it also says, "It is unknown if the original book is still unavailable", and the text was taken from the Florida School of Midwifery. "If you are able to copy any or all of this to pass on to people, it is encouraged. No permission was received in the first place, besides information is to be shared NOT stored."
It begins with a preface that lists down Ms. Gardner's beliefs regarding abortion, most of them fair and lacking judgement towards those who do and don't. It also clearly states that this book is also geared towards the partners of the women - men.
It moves on to consider circumstances surrounding abortion - how to make the decision? What if the woman wants to keep the baby? What are her options? What comes of adoption? And what about the men? What about their considerations, their reactions and the consequences of the abortion on them? It's sympathetic to both camps, and to many sides of the story.
This book then discusses biological ways of discerning at which stage of pregnancy a woman is in, and what methods of abortion are available for certain stages of pregnancy. It talks about pregnancy and fetal stages, about pregnancy tests, and other accompaying problems. The next chapter moves onto the spiritual aspect of pregnancy - can mothers speak to their children before they're born? When does a fetus contain a living soul? There's a little exercise which helps a woman decide what she wants to do through visualization. And of course, no discussion of spirituality can end without a discussion on the sacredness of life.
(For Wiccans, this is very similar to pathworking.)
(And life is sacred. That's why we don't bring in children into the world unless we truly revere their right to the world. We don't bring children in "just because", or because we have no choice. It must be a choice. We can choose to respect a child as a life full of possibilities, or we can choose to view a child as a burden and a responsibility to shoulder, just because it furthers the species.
If you came from ShinraOnline, you might remember Galladoorn. His daughter Madison was an accident, but he says, "she's the best accident that ever happened to me!" He married the mother and they're a beautiful, loving, godly couple.)
Gardner moves on to discuss the politics attached to abortion - no surpise there, because the issue is really fraught. Her position is that pro-life is anti-choice, while pro-choice means a woman is free to choose whether she will keep the baby or not, and she should be supported in her decision. Pro-lifers also have this insistence on abolishing abortion, but lack care for the women who DO choose to keep their babies, but don't have the resources to. That was something I had never really considered before - I knew that lack of resources was a reason for abortion (it would be one of mine), but I suppose I lack faith in society to provide me with such precious resource, to help me keep my baby. So the book's not all about abortion, but what options a woman can also consider, if she wants to keep the baby.
It may be politics, but these are morality considerations too. We as a society sometimes forget that women also choose to keep their babies as they also choose to abort. We forget single mothers need our help too, and in many places in the world, they are still shunned. It's a hard choice, isn't it? Shunned as a single mother, but denied an abortion. It's hardly a position any woman would want to be in, and as a result, many of us end up shutting down our sexuality, refusing to deal with it for fear of being in such a position.
Then there are descriptions of the procedures, what is done, what a woman may feel during those times, the risks attached. There are home remedies that induce abortion (none scientifically tested, though) - and finally, ways of dealing with the grief that accompanies an abortion.
There are cruel, callous people in the world who get abortions regularly as a form of contraception. They have no respect for the possibility of life within their wombs, seeing it as a minor inconvenience and squashing the flame as easily as flicking a switch. These women may have their reasons for believing so. If I knew someone who did that and gave me no satisfactory answer ("because I didn't want it" is not a good answer for using abortion as a contraceptive), I would tell her off in her face, and possibly spit on her.
An abortion IS an inconvenience, but for many women, it's a traumatic event - it's a death. And as with all deaths, we must grieve.
There are "case studies", more like examples of people who have had abortions and how they coped with it. And finally, a satisfactory closing of a spiritual belief, and a kindly word for those who may be going through this particular tribulation in life.
With the first twenty pages, I'm moved. I can't read this without crying. As a woman who believes in sexual freedom and liberation, these are important considerations I have to make regarding my body. What do I do to prevent having children before I'm ready? What happens if I have a child? What if I'm raped? Do I keep it? Do I have the support system required for such a responsibility? Do I have the emotional strength to go through with a pregnancy of a child that wasn't wanted?
More importantly, what are my options?
As a human being, I have the right to know what my choices are in face of adversity. What if someday, while I'm off contraceptives, I'm raped and I conceive from it? What if an accident with my partner occurs? How do I deal with an unwanted / unexpected pregnancy when I'm not ready for a child? What questions do I ask, what answers will I get?
Because we still live in a feckless society that prefers to scorn women that face this adversity instead of helping them, these are important considerations for a woman. She must know she has choices before she can take responsibility for herself, and she also has the responsibility to find out for herself her choices in all aspects of life. The people who love her also have the responsibility of helping her become educated on her choices on this issue, too. All human beings have the responsibility of helping each other out in knowing our choices in life.
I don't want to be in such a position, where I'd have to make such a decision, but in the eventuality that it happens, I can't run from it, but it's MY choice to say "Yes" or "No". Normally, I"m a cynical person and I sometimes don't care about certain things - sometimes I lack empathy because I'm so involved in what's going on in my world. If I could live like that all the time (like how so many people do), I wouldn't be at this computer crying. But I feel for these people and I understand their position.
This problem may never be mine, for all I know, but it still hits close to home, as a woman and as a person who wants to be a parent someday.
It's not that I can't help it, but I am pro-choice, and I choose to care.
It's a great book. For those in Halifax, you can get it at Venus Envy.