Sad to say, I do know of some girls who know the consequences of having unprotected sex, of relying on withdrawal methods YET refuse to make their boyfriends wear a condom only to call me up and ask where they can go to in order to get rid of their problem. :/
I think we should consider a number of factors when discussing this namely who we are talking about when we refer to abortions and people who go through it. Yes, not all women who opt for abortions are young teens who know next to nothing. And well, to be honest, most of us are not so much concerned about abortion alone. We want other things related to this to be addressed and tackled! (Or at least I do. I feel that abortions should be left as it is and instead of dividing people into pro-life or pro-choice, we should concentrate on the things that really count (like why birth control is hard to find, why people won't buy them even if they are easy to get, why this attitude towards sex, etc, and not the labels per se.)
For me, I have always felt that abortions should be a medical option open to women who NEED it for 1) health reasons and 2) rape/crime. Just to sidetrack a little - rape is often a tool used in wars and recently, the world has seen a flooding of war babies (a result of these rapes). No one wants them, not even their mothers or the community and the government is left with no other alternative but to care for them. Hardly a great environment to grow up in or with; and neither great to live with.
I know of a number of women who went through abortions for the reasons above - these are matured, responsible woman. Heck, one of them was my own mother who had a D&C because she got pregnant while she was on the IUD. The doc had recommended that she get an abortion because of the high risk of defects to the fetus. Was she irresponsible? Was she a murderer? When I was young, I felt so but as I started researching more on this, I began to feel differently.
This was a question that weighed heavily on my mind - what if my baby has severe genetic defect, would I want to still carry to full term knowing fully well what lies ahead for not only me but my child and my family? I'm not so courageous to say yes and neither is my husband. Call us selfish, call us immature but we feel that an abortion in this case would be best for everyone.
As for the young girls, to be fair, the fault isn't entirely theirs. Their story is all the same - they have been told the same junk as I have (see below), and they have been drilled to think that the only way to hold a man's love is to bow to his every whim. They have lopsided views of relationships, sex and intimacy, because no one ever spoke about what happens if and when you have sex. Society, the system and even parents are to blame for this. The system teaches crappy values which passes on to parents and society. Walk in to a store to buy a condom as a woman and people look at you funny. Walk in to see a doc for a prescription for Diana 35-ED and he gives you a funny look while telling you that it is not a birth control pill (WTH). Heck, my mother once told me that she felt so embarrassed even asking for lubricant and she was 45 at that time. It's like everyone doing it but no one wants to talk about it. WTF.
People should concentrate on 1) sex education, 2) public perception about sex and contraception (am I a slut for wanting to go on the Pill with the only man I slept in?) and 3) the right approach to sex-related issues. I remember how my mother threatened me with things like "a woman who isn't a virgin when she marries loses her value" or "if you're a virgin, your husband has no reason to divorce you". Contrast this with my husband's mother who when he hit puberty, casually told him that she has a box of condoms in a drawer somewhere at home and that he ought to use it at all times.
For those of us in the family way (married and all - don't know how many of you are), the best we can do is to learn and then spread the knowledge. You'd be surprised at how many married women out there who know absolutely shit nothing about family planning, sexual health or birth control.
For those of us who aren't in the family way, talking about it helps. Seriously, people NEED to talk about sex.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
regna
Maybe we need to take a step back...
Date: 2009-02-07 06:26 pm (UTC)I think we should consider a number of factors when discussing this namely who we are talking about when we refer to abortions and people who go through it. Yes, not all women who opt for abortions are young teens who know next to nothing. And well, to be honest, most of us are not so much concerned about abortion alone. We want other things related to this to be addressed and tackled! (Or at least I do. I feel that abortions should be left as it is and instead of dividing people into pro-life or pro-choice, we should concentrate on the things that really count (like why birth control is hard to find, why people won't buy them even if they are easy to get, why this attitude towards sex, etc, and not the labels per se.)
For me, I have always felt that abortions should be a medical option open to women who NEED it for 1) health reasons and 2) rape/crime. Just to sidetrack a little - rape is often a tool used in wars and recently, the world has seen a flooding of war babies (a result of these rapes). No one wants them, not even their mothers or the community and the government is left with no other alternative but to care for them. Hardly a great environment to grow up in or with; and neither great to live with.
I know of a number of women who went through abortions for the reasons above - these are matured, responsible woman. Heck, one of them was my own mother who had a D&C because she got pregnant while she was on the IUD. The doc had recommended that she get an abortion because of the high risk of defects to the fetus. Was she irresponsible? Was she a murderer? When I was young, I felt so but as I started researching more on this, I began to feel differently.
This was a question that weighed heavily on my mind - what if my baby has severe genetic defect, would I want to still carry to full term knowing fully well what lies ahead for not only me but my child and my family? I'm not so courageous to say yes and neither is my husband. Call us selfish, call us immature but we feel that an abortion in this case would be best for everyone.
As for the young girls, to be fair, the fault isn't entirely theirs. Their story is all the same - they have been told the same junk as I have (see below), and they have been drilled to think that the only way to hold a man's love is to bow to his every whim. They have lopsided views of relationships, sex and intimacy, because no one ever spoke about what happens if and when you have sex. Society, the system and even parents are to blame for this. The system teaches crappy values which passes on to parents and society. Walk in to a store to buy a condom as a woman and people look at you funny. Walk in to see a doc for a prescription for Diana 35-ED and he gives you a funny look while telling you that it is not a birth control pill (WTH). Heck, my mother once told me that she felt so embarrassed even asking for lubricant and she was 45 at that time. It's like everyone doing it but no one wants to talk about it. WTF.
People should concentrate on 1) sex education, 2) public perception about sex and contraception (am I a slut for wanting to go on the Pill with the only man I slept in?) and 3) the right approach to sex-related issues. I remember how my mother threatened me with things like "a woman who isn't a virgin when she marries loses her value" or "if you're a virgin, your husband has no reason to divorce you". Contrast this with my husband's mother who when he hit puberty, casually told him that she has a box of condoms in a drawer somewhere at home and that he ought to use it at all times.
For those of us in the family way (married and all - don't know how many of you are), the best we can do is to learn and then spread the knowledge. You'd be surprised at how many married women out there who know absolutely shit nothing about family planning, sexual health or birth control.
For those of us who aren't in the family way, talking about it helps. Seriously, people NEED to talk about sex.