Reaching Out

Just something I thought of while walking home, as I considered Adam's claim that I'm a "SMUlebrity" (and therefore should go to the Charter Day Awards). What makes a popular person? And I don't mean a person who's popular because they're smart and beautiful. I mean, genuinely well-liked and well-thought of - which I don't believe I am to a whole lot of people. I'm certainly well-liked by a select sort of persons I know. Either way, I came up with a little basic list of a person who's really well-liked to the point that no one has anything really terrible about them to say. I make reference to people I've known in the past, such as Kathleen "Blingley" who was a former VP Academic and Zach Churchill, current SMUSA president.

P - Positivity
R - Responsiveness
I - Initiative
M - Memory

It's a little simplistic, I guess, but it's a nice start.

Lulu Larude / Chuck Gillis passed away this day, 8th February, 2007.

The day is less cheerful.

I feel like a piece of me has gone away and will never come back.

Lulu, I did not even get to know you as well as I would have liked, but you have left an indelible mark upon me. I have always thought that a highlight of my university life would be to get a picture with you, and it hurts that I never will get that chance ever again.

You were an amazing, wonderful person, always so full of energy and life, always trooping on despite the odds. You set a bar for me to attain, a bar of excellence in terms of not just showmanship, but humanness. I'll never be able to express how much you meant to me.

Rest in peace. Thank you for the memories.


xoxoxo
Jaymee

It's snowing right now. I'm at work, I'm sleepy, I don't really want to go to class, but I do want to see Sean, and I'll see him after class, and it's snowing outside.

It's actually a pretty heavy snow session right now. it's mostly been a bit of snow followed by rain which totals out the snow. It's a good kind of snow though. It's soft and fluffy, and a little wet, and it stays on the ground, and it's falling down quite well without any wind blowing it around too much.

I can't imagine a more beautiful sight right now (well, maybe Sean sitting next to me watching it too) and it's got such a calming, soothing effect, I really want to go to bed.

I want to go out in it and frolick. That's what I really want to do. Gosh. The snow's so beautiful. I'm quite inarticulate right now.

Poetry revisions:
Done: Sticking Apart (with Discordia page photocopied), His Hands, Morning Sun
To do: My Mom Sells Cocaine, My Father's Garden
Due: Friday 8th. Yay Dr. Barlett! I can do these on the plane.

Short Story revisions:
Done: The Aunt Who Could Tell the Future - renamed: The Sensitive Ones
To do: And We Emerge From the Depths
Due: Friday 1st, because I'm totally going away on Sunday.

SMUDS:
Done: Auditions
To do:
- Meet Glenn tomorrow to give him tapes
- Get cast list from Glenn on Friday and tell everybody.

Romantics:
Done: Proposal - full marks, and Dr. Seaman was pleased with my bibliography.
To do: Read Locke and Rousseau's treatises on education - re-read Vindication - read four (well, five) critical articles on Wollstonecraft on the plane.

Christmas shopping:
Done: Bought presents for Sam, Sean, Elie, Stepha, Alicia, Faye and April.
Done: Wrapped presents, made cards for Sean and Elie.
To do: Finish Elie's card, make cards for Stepha and Alicia.

Thursday:
12pm - Art Gallery reception
12.30pm - Pass Glenn walton tapes from SMUDS office.
2.30pm - Get take-home exam from class.
rest of the day: finish the god damn story already.

Friday:
1pm - Hair appointment with Melanie
3.30pm - Meeting with Glenn Walton, touching base after cast list has been finished.
5pm - Sean?
6pm - Dance class!
7.30pm - Pressiez giveaway!

Saturday:
12pm - Lunch with Matthew and Sam
(somewhere in between lunch and 5pm) - Get cake!
5pm - TGIO HALIFAX!!!!!
7pm - Russian Night! Free for NaNoWriMo participants!! Wheee! pernishus is cooking!

Sunday:
1pm - Get to airport.
3.30pm - Flying to Toronto
5.30pm - ZIPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday:
11am - Zippy leaves ;_;
2pm - Check out from Hotel
Somewhere between 11am and 6pm - Kill time in Toronto.
7pm - Get to airport and check in
10.30pm - flying homebound for a good 23 hours total.

Wednesday:
7.30am - Arrive in Hong Kong. Knowing Cathay, I'll probably arrive later.
9am - Leave for Malaysia. This short time period makes me paranoid about whether I'll get my luggage on time.
12.45pm - Arrive in Malaysia.

( NaNoWriMo )

( Society work )

( Shortbus )

( Creative Writing Classes )

1) Waking up at 1am to puke is possibly the worst way to begin a birthday. I spent some time just feeling ill in general, and trying to heave so I'd at least have an empty stomach that I could put some ordinary bread in, and I have no idea why I was puking. And I still felt bad after pukng some, so I couldn't eat anything, and drinking was just as unappealing, so I kinda sat on my couch feeling generally ill in the abdominal area for a while.

I'm guessing it was the fried chicken I had last night which was terrifically oily. It could also be stress, since I felt the same way I normally would when I'm having an overwhelming day.

As I leant over the toilet bowl, I kept heaving and sniffling and I think some of the upset came from the fact that the stuff from my nose keeps trickling back right into my stomach, which is kinda gross, but possibly true, so I'm going to see the doctor about it today.

I also wondered how the fuck bulimics managed to keep up this whole puking thing as a friggin LIFESTYLE.

When I went back to bed, I decided that since I still felt sick, maybe I should just meditate, and under the moonlight, I did. And I felt much better.


2) I despise receiving stuffed toys as gifts. Heather, who is no close friend of mine and probably was just buying it for me as a good gesture even though she obviously doesn't know me very well (not well enough, at any rate, to know that I really don't enjoy stuffed toys), bought me a stuffed BLUE doggie that's not just a toy, but a PURSE BAG AS WELL.

Excuse me, but do I look like the kind who'd actually willingly go around town carrying a STUFFED DOG PURSE BAG? For the love of all that's good and awesome, please relegate your presents to things I can use, or just buy me flowers and earrings.

Stuffed toys are cute little dust collectors. They are also ridiculously easy to buy, and you don't need much thought to throw together some small things like a rose quartz, seashells, a pearl necklace and St. John's Wort. And... easter egg chocolates.

I know this makes me sound like a ungracious little brat, but I'm the sort of person where, if I can't think of anything seriously meaningful and practical to buy, I just take that friend out to dinner.

You know, this makes me want a sushi lunch. I think that's exactly what I'll do for myself today.


3) I'm really, really looking forward to my Writing Fiction class tonight. Writing Poetry last night was a great deal of fun, and despite my initial impression of Dr. Bartlett as a rather elitist writer snooty type (he thought NaNoWriMo was like "fast food novelling", to which I took offense to), he actually remembered me and although there were just eight of us in class, it was a very dynamic class.

So, tonight's Writing Fiction with Dr. Alexander MacLeod, whom Stepha and I jokingly refer to as Dr. Dreamy MacLeod because he's very hot and intelligent (his father is Alistair MacLeod, a rather famous Canadian writer), and while I don't know how big this class will be, still...


4) Speaking of creative writing, we have to try 8 out or 12 assignments from the poetry class, and the first one is on hands or feet, or both. 6 of these 8 have to be revised, and that becomes a portfolio that the professor will grade us on.

Since I haven't brought out KireiRuka in a while, I'm at a workstation at work, and here's a very bad first draft of a Hand poem:

When I hold his hands,
I'm not thinking about the last time
he hit another person with those
solid knuckles and muscled fingers.
I'm not thinking about the capability
of violence, entrapped under the
taut, clean, pink skin.

When I hold his hands,
I'm not thinking about their function
in a making, in a protecting,
in a grasp of tight measures.
I'm not thinking about how very
useful they are.
This I say with a polite cough.

When I hold this hands,
I'm not thinking about their musicality
on a bass guitar, as long and lean,
strumming sounds gleaned.
I'm not thinking about their creative
power, their manipulative skill
at callused fingertips.

When I hold his hands,
it's not about those smooth palms
or fine hairs, or clipped nails,
or our twined, hungry fingers.

When I hold his hands,
it's one step closer to holding him.

And his holding mine.


5) I'm going to start taking Active Living classes at the gym again, and I'm thinking of Cardio T's, which is supposedly cardio "with a burlesque twist", and that sounds like a great deal of fun. I'm going to get Sean to be my dance partner for the jive/ballroom dancing class, and Elie and Bridget are also going to be there, and it's going to be awesome like that. I think I can cut gym classes twice a week: Tuesday and Friday evenings, and it will hopefully help me beat down the fatigue I seem to be having.


6) I went to the Student Accounts department yesterday to deal with my fees. While in total, I owe them abuot 9k for the whole year, I also have refunds credited, and an achievement scholarship, which means I only owe about 7k. This means I had to figure out how much I could get away with paying for the first semester since the exchange rate zinged up really high and wouldn't come back down for a while, and thus my dad ended up sending me only about three thousand dollars.

I apparently had a cheque I had to pick up, which was about 1900, and since it was so old, it's gone stale. So the nice lady and I decided to just have it cancelled the the 1900 credited into my account.

So in all, I really only need to pay about 5k for the entire year.

I love me and my fiscal luck. *knocks wood*

Okay, work off in five minutes. Happy Birthday to me!

A friend of mine remarked the other day how I really like touching people physically. Everytime I meet a friend, I'll give them a hug. Before they leave me, I give them a hug. I don't really touch people otherwise normally, but on occasion I do love a good cuddle with the people I trust most.

So this morning I was dwelling on this, and I remembered something that happened to me in my first year in Halifax.

I was walking down South Park St. on my way to Spring Garden Rd, passing the front of an apartment block (Haligonians will probably know what I'm talking about), and walking towards me were a group of adolescent girls. They couldn't have been older than fourteen. I don't know how to gauge age anymore.

One of the girls looked like the "different" one of the group. She wasn't talking to them, just walking with them. I wouldn't say she was differently-abled, but I got the feel of it from her. Mostly because she was the one walking right in front of me, and when I moved to the side to let her pass, she moved in front of me.

I moved to the left, she followed suit. Right, and she still blocked me.

You could tell it was done on purpose, judging by the smile on her face. I don't know why she did that - maybe just to aggravate. Maybe just to see me try to push her aside.

But it was clear she was going to block my path, so I threw my arms around her into a hug.

Her friend burst out into laughter, but she hugged me back and when I let her go, I think I patted her on the head and said something to the effect of "have a nice day." Or maybe I didn't say anything. This all happened in the space of a few seconds.

While they walked away, I heard her friends say, "that was awesome!" and in two seconds I hear running steps towards me.

I turned around, and she was bolting towards me with her arms wide open, so I opened my arms too, and she hugged me tightly. I hugged her back, and then she stepped back, grinned at me and ran back to her friends.

I never met her again.

Sometime early 2004, when my best friend and I had moved into our two-bedroom apartment together, we decided we would sally forth to Pets Unlimited and get ourselves some pets for personal amusement. Everytime we go to Bayer's Lake, we always stop by this lovely pet store, and we always end up admiring some animals there. I end up pining for chinchillas, and she ends up pining for dogs.

From my early teens, it seemed that everybody I knew had hamsters. Not just one, no, they'd buy a pair, and they'd breed whold families, just for the experience of seeing babies born and growing and dying. It was a bit of a trend for a while, and some remained hamster fans, others moved on to other interests. I, for my part, never had hamsters. I always had dogs, and some cats, when I was a very young child I even had rabbits, but hamsters were, in my opinion, overrated.

Either way, my best friend and I ended up buying two hamsters each. Mine were orange and white. The orange one I named Xnedra, after Ce'Nedra of Belgariad/Mallorean fame. The white one which was really sweet and tame, I named Xandir, after the Drawn Together character.

We had incredibly bad luck with hamsters though. Y'see, hamsters have this thing where when they hit puberty, they either live or die. Most of our hamsters became ill and died. We took them back to the petstore, and they replaced the dead hamsters, but a couple of those died as well. One survived a little longer than the others, an evil little orange one with red eyes (beware the ones with red eyes, they tend to be more aggressive) that we had some cruel fun with because it had a horrible temper. It was spit and hiss at us whenever we passed by, and completely overreact to us talking. When we blew at it, it would jump really high.

So one day when it was on the wheel running, we blew and it got completely taken by surprise and went spinning with the wheel.

It was hysterically funny. I remember gasping and being unable to talk, it was so funny.

Anyway, pretty much all the hamsters we got died, except for Xnedra, who lives till this day. We just gave up on it, and my best friend let me have the other cage for when I wanted to change Xnedra's bedding.

Towards the end of our stay together, I began letting Xnedra out of her cage to wander the apartment, just for exercise. It was a pretty natural thing on my part, beginning with leaving the cage door open one evening and noticing a little moving orange thing on the other side of the kitchennette where the hamster cage was.

The next time I accidentally left the door open, the hamster came running into my room under my table where I was typing something, and when I noticed it I shrieked.

The third time it happened? My best friend was the one to shriek, "OH MY GOD HAMSTER!!" as it ran across her on her way to her bathroom. She turned to me with horrified eyes, "What's it doing outside its cage??"

Nevertheless, when I moved out into my bachelor apartment, it became a regular habit to let my hamster go in the evenings and let it scamper around for a few hours.

Recently, a friend of mine, Marek, adopted a bunny. He can't keep it, he's never had one so he had to educate himself on bunny care, he works full-time, and unable to hide it in his apartment, he asked me to help out. My building doesn't allow rabbits, since they have a tendency towards destruction, but it's easier to keep it here and hide it than in his apartment, which is a house. So I'm keeping Mo-mo, a little angora bunny which isn't more than a few weeks old, until sometime in August.

On one of Mo-mo's first few trips to my apartment before he got completely situated here, I had let Xnedra go at the same time, just to introduce Xnedra to this new creature that would be sharing her territory with her. She got very curious about MoMo, and began sniffing him all over, even gently nibbling a bit at his paws and ears. MoMo, however, didn't like this, and moved away everytime she got at him, but did she let up?

Nooooooo. My hamster began CHASING the bunny, basically bullying it even while the bunny helplessly kept running off, until I made a grab for the hamster and put her back in her cage.

Well, at least we know what gender's in charge of this here apartment!

This wouldn't be so bad, except that Xnedra has become more possessive of her territory - she laid claim to the space under the bathroom counter, and I have the extra hamster cage tray there for her to hoard some foot and just spend some time rubbing about in (hamsters writhe on the ground to mark their territory). Her territorial activities became more pronounced after MoMo's arrival.

Today, I let her out again as usual. MoMo's cage opens from the top, and I left it open in cage he bothered to jump out for some exercise. He's a lazy rabbit though, so he didn't. However, my attention was averted from my work to the sounds of the bunny cage. Mo-mo occasionally scratches himself and makes a lot of noise, but this sounded like something else, and I went over to the cage to see -

A little orange thing sniffing the black bunny. Yes, Xnedra was harassing MoMo again. She must've climbed up his cage and dropped inside, and decided to check out the big black bunny more than five times her size. She's completely fearless! Hell, she was almost ON him!

The bunny's cage is supposed to be where he's SAFE, but here was a little hamster nibbling all over him and invading his private space. Wow.

So, that's Hamster - 1, Bunny - 0.

Can't wait for more Hammie Vs. Bunny adventures.