What I Learnt From Romance Novels
Apr. 20th, 2008 09:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jhameiaAnd I don't mean Harlequin, but hey, if you learnt anything from those, feel free to add to the list. I was nine when I first picked up The Magic of You by Johanna Lindsey, and I hadn't realized it was only the fourth in a series... later, on a long trip to America, my brother rented the first three novels and we had a competition on who could finish the books faster on the plane flight there. They got much funnier when I was a bit older and could understand witty repartee better. The Malory trilogy is still my favourite, and I tried to expand out to Catherine Coulter (the Wild Baron; funny quirky as shit characters), Susan Johnson (whew... hard erotica by the third chapter) and Jane Feather (also quirky, less-than-perfect characters).
Anyways:
1) The first time having sex is going to hurt. Most likely anyway.
2) Having sex DOES, in fact, make babies (a few of these stories featured pregnancy as a result, and a source of angst for characters).
3) Unconsensual sex isn't really hot. Consensual sex is nice. Enthusiastic sex the best!
4) No matter how angry you are, how much of a "tough guy" you are, how emotionally guarded you are - it is infinitely liberating to confess your love.
5) Even if you don't think you're beautiful, chances are, someone else will. Not every heroine starts off being bang-off beautiful - sometimes their beauty's in little things that come through during interaction.
6) "Women's work" does, in fact, matter. Sometimes a hell lot more than "men's stuff" like war and fighting and dumb shit like that.
7) So do women's tempers, because they're usually the only things that make her talk.
8) The best men are those who listen to you. Even if they don't take you seriously at first, the fact that they don't brush you off instantaneously is important.
9) Women who fight back are more likely to get what they really want.
10) If you don't ask, you don't get, because your partner is not likely to be a bloody mind reader.
11) If you want happiness, sometimes you have to fight for it, sometimes you have to be willing to welcome change, sometimes you have to reach out for it. All entail making yourself vulnerable in some way.
12) It's nice to have a jaunty hat with a feather in it. Because jaunty hats are awesome.
13) You can't let the gossip mills run your life. Other people poking their noses into your business don't matter - what does matter is how you negotiate your own emotions with your partner.
14) Sex without love is okay, but much better with.
15) You're more likely to win someone over if you don't tailor yourself to them and focus on your sweet self kicking ass, even if your focus is on "women's work". Lady Reina didn't win Ranulf over by pandering to him because he wouldn't have trusted her anyway, and she had a small kingdom to attend to besides, you know, her own husband.
16) It does, in fact, matter if you pry and ask why someone might be such-and-such a way.
17) A functioning relationship means both partners put each other top of their lists, but their lists don't revolve ONLY around each other.
18) It would save a lot of angst if you quit tippy-toeing around and just said "I love you", you know.
19) Sex is not a big, scary thing, and shouldn't be.
20) It's really not for you to decide if someone else should love you or not - if they love you, they love you, and it's kind of insulting for you to push them away and decide otherwise for the, especially if they're another consenting adult.
Anyways:
1) The first time having sex is going to hurt. Most likely anyway.
2) Having sex DOES, in fact, make babies (a few of these stories featured pregnancy as a result, and a source of angst for characters).
3) Unconsensual sex isn't really hot. Consensual sex is nice. Enthusiastic sex the best!
4) No matter how angry you are, how much of a "tough guy" you are, how emotionally guarded you are - it is infinitely liberating to confess your love.
5) Even if you don't think you're beautiful, chances are, someone else will. Not every heroine starts off being bang-off beautiful - sometimes their beauty's in little things that come through during interaction.
6) "Women's work" does, in fact, matter. Sometimes a hell lot more than "men's stuff" like war and fighting and dumb shit like that.
7) So do women's tempers, because they're usually the only things that make her talk.
8) The best men are those who listen to you. Even if they don't take you seriously at first, the fact that they don't brush you off instantaneously is important.
9) Women who fight back are more likely to get what they really want.
10) If you don't ask, you don't get, because your partner is not likely to be a bloody mind reader.
11) If you want happiness, sometimes you have to fight for it, sometimes you have to be willing to welcome change, sometimes you have to reach out for it. All entail making yourself vulnerable in some way.
12) It's nice to have a jaunty hat with a feather in it. Because jaunty hats are awesome.
13) You can't let the gossip mills run your life. Other people poking their noses into your business don't matter - what does matter is how you negotiate your own emotions with your partner.
14) Sex without love is okay, but much better with.
15) You're more likely to win someone over if you don't tailor yourself to them and focus on your sweet self kicking ass, even if your focus is on "women's work". Lady Reina didn't win Ranulf over by pandering to him because he wouldn't have trusted her anyway, and she had a small kingdom to attend to besides, you know, her own husband.
16) It does, in fact, matter if you pry and ask why someone might be such-and-such a way.
17) A functioning relationship means both partners put each other top of their lists, but their lists don't revolve ONLY around each other.
18) It would save a lot of angst if you quit tippy-toeing around and just said "I love you", you know.
19) Sex is not a big, scary thing, and shouldn't be.
20) It's really not for you to decide if someone else should love you or not - if they love you, they love you, and it's kind of insulting for you to push them away and decide otherwise for the, especially if they're another consenting adult.
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Date: 2008-04-21 01:46 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-04-21 08:04 pm (UTC)word.