Me, the Anti-Social
Nov. 23rd, 2008 12:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jhameiaSo, I've heard from more than one source today that they don't believe I'm as anti-social as I say I am. Which is fair. Whenever I'm out, I'm really out there. Wherever I go, I try to get on the same wavelength as others.
Also, I try not to go to parties. Like, house parties. I don't actually like the idea of house parties - buncha people getting together, hanging out. I has better things to do. Like read blogs and write novels. I've done it before, but those were mostly held by people I know. For example, Jamie, whose housewarming party ended up with a cosy six-person chat in a living room. Big house parties don't appeal to me because I have no desire to be stuck in the same space as perfect strangers. I can chat them up. I just would really rather not. Unless it's a party hosted by fabulous gay people like Dave, Nathaniel and Mark in the House of Lola. Because they are good hosts and invite a range of friendly people.
All things considered, I've only actually been to a few social events. On average, that's less than one big social event per month. I AM an INTP. Usually, if I go clubbing, it's to either watch the event at hand (eg. the drag show), or to dance. I'm not there to socialize, not there to meet people, not there to hook up - I'm there to DANCE. I'll keep an eye out on my friends who're with me, duh, because friends should take care of each other in crowded places like that, but fuck socializing. If I'm volunteering, I'm there to do a job. I'd say hi and stuff, chat quite a bit, but the job is the first thing.
So, I don't go out to a lot of house parties. The agenda "have a good time" is dependent on various factors, and it's not as simple as me slipping in, having a few drinks, and chatting about whatever. Very often, when I think about a house party, I think about having to go out to meet a group of strangers, who I may or may not get along with, with whom I may or may not have fun, and usually, this is quite the crapshoot, unless I know the people hosting the party, or a majority of the people attending the party. And they have to be GOOD hosts / party people too.
I suppose I go on and on about my social life like it's the best thing in the world because on the few occasions I DO get out, it's been through so many filters that I AM having the best time in the world - surrounded by people I know and like, surrounded by stimuli I enjoy (geek talk? Oh yeah), surrounded by a feeling of general well-being and security.
When I first dated Andrew (the first one), I went to a few parties where I was introduced to his friends, and was the odd one out. I would meet one or two people I really liked and would talk to them a lot. But in general, I did not feel comfortable. Also, I wasn't really that confident in myself back then (it took me a WHILE to muster up the courage to make the decision to break up with him, for chrissakes). I decided there and then that house parties were not for me.
Except for the few examples I mentioned above.
So, here's my confession:
The idea of most house parties make my skin crawl. I'm not all that sociable. I'm not. If I go to a house party, it's for the people, not for the party itself. I'm friendly. I'm positive. I'm a chatterbox, I remember details about people, but that doesn't really make me this huge social butterfly.
So tonight's agenda of cheesecake with Mssr. R- and then on the off-chance of fucking him did not come to fruition because he a) doesn't like North American cream cheese, b) had a houseparty going on in his place and c) doesn't have a lock on his door (which would've been rude anyway).
Also, there was smoking of cigarettes and weed going on, so yeah, that made shit all the more worse.
Also, I try not to go to parties. Like, house parties. I don't actually like the idea of house parties - buncha people getting together, hanging out. I has better things to do. Like read blogs and write novels. I've done it before, but those were mostly held by people I know. For example, Jamie, whose housewarming party ended up with a cosy six-person chat in a living room. Big house parties don't appeal to me because I have no desire to be stuck in the same space as perfect strangers. I can chat them up. I just would really rather not. Unless it's a party hosted by fabulous gay people like Dave, Nathaniel and Mark in the House of Lola. Because they are good hosts and invite a range of friendly people.
All things considered, I've only actually been to a few social events. On average, that's less than one big social event per month. I AM an INTP. Usually, if I go clubbing, it's to either watch the event at hand (eg. the drag show), or to dance. I'm not there to socialize, not there to meet people, not there to hook up - I'm there to DANCE. I'll keep an eye out on my friends who're with me, duh, because friends should take care of each other in crowded places like that, but fuck socializing. If I'm volunteering, I'm there to do a job. I'd say hi and stuff, chat quite a bit, but the job is the first thing.
So, I don't go out to a lot of house parties. The agenda "have a good time" is dependent on various factors, and it's not as simple as me slipping in, having a few drinks, and chatting about whatever. Very often, when I think about a house party, I think about having to go out to meet a group of strangers, who I may or may not get along with, with whom I may or may not have fun, and usually, this is quite the crapshoot, unless I know the people hosting the party, or a majority of the people attending the party. And they have to be GOOD hosts / party people too.
I suppose I go on and on about my social life like it's the best thing in the world because on the few occasions I DO get out, it's been through so many filters that I AM having the best time in the world - surrounded by people I know and like, surrounded by stimuli I enjoy (geek talk? Oh yeah), surrounded by a feeling of general well-being and security.
When I first dated Andrew (the first one), I went to a few parties where I was introduced to his friends, and was the odd one out. I would meet one or two people I really liked and would talk to them a lot. But in general, I did not feel comfortable. Also, I wasn't really that confident in myself back then (it took me a WHILE to muster up the courage to make the decision to break up with him, for chrissakes). I decided there and then that house parties were not for me.
Except for the few examples I mentioned above.
So, here's my confession:
The idea of most house parties make my skin crawl. I'm not all that sociable. I'm not. If I go to a house party, it's for the people, not for the party itself. I'm friendly. I'm positive. I'm a chatterbox, I remember details about people, but that doesn't really make me this huge social butterfly.
So tonight's agenda of cheesecake with Mssr. R- and then on the off-chance of fucking him did not come to fruition because he a) doesn't like North American cream cheese, b) had a houseparty going on in his place and c) doesn't have a lock on his door (which would've been rude anyway).
Also, there was smoking of cigarettes and weed going on, so yeah, that made shit all the more worse.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-23 07:19 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-23 10:38 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-23 10:49 am (UTC)Sorry, I get excited over stuff like these. And I definitely have trouble socialising. Where do I start?
Hello :)
(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-23 06:11 pm (UTC)I don't like going to house parties all that much either, I go for specific people or specific things (like Rock Band) not *just* to drink or smoke or anything like that too.