meltdowns and stuff
Aug. 1st, 2017 08:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jhameiaSo.
I was supposed to swim yesterday, except on Sunday night, I struggled to get to 200 pages and the conclusion was just so fucking hard, partly because I don't understand conclusions, and partly because the things I wanted to say in my conclusion sounded stupid. I did get to 200 pages, and then decided to spend a bit of time putting together the Works Cited list, which involved copy-pasting a LOT of very tiny footnotes, and it was highly annoying. But I kept thinking "well, just a little bit more!" and by the time I had collated it (minus some data, because I've not been consistent with using Zotero, and some of my books are left on campus), it was 6am.
So when I went to get a final drink of water, I exclaimed an expletive at how BRIGHT it was outside, and went to sleep, for about three hours. Woke up feeling crappy still, had more meltdown fits, then realized I had edits for my introduction and second chapter still untouched! So I had another crying fit and sat down and tried to work some more. Slept some more, then begged for help from a friend, and felt better. I wrote a couple of really workable paragraphs, and got through the rest of the introduction edits mostly okay.
Today I worked on Chapter 2 edits, with a nice 4-hour long break to go to lunch with Lindsay which also involved going to get some dessert, so I got some cake from the sugar-free bakery, covered with chocolate mousse.
I also went swimming! The SKY was gloriously CLOUDY and it was still warm out, and I thought, when am I ever going to get a chance to swim when it's warm and cloudy out like this again?? And it might rain! Even better! It started raining around my 8th lap, and I kept going to Lap 18. It was so great. First time that it was warmer in the pool than out. What an interesting experience. I hope it happens again.
Finally checked my email to send my adviser what I currently have only to see she's asked me to take a couple more days so I can stop feeling crummy about my conclusion. (Any advice on how to write dissertation conclusions will be muchly appreciated.) She also has this thing against ending sentences with prepositions. I don't really know why this is such a big deal, but I guess I should comb through the rest of the diss looking for such things.
I was supposed to swim yesterday, except on Sunday night, I struggled to get to 200 pages and the conclusion was just so fucking hard, partly because I don't understand conclusions, and partly because the things I wanted to say in my conclusion sounded stupid. I did get to 200 pages, and then decided to spend a bit of time putting together the Works Cited list, which involved copy-pasting a LOT of very tiny footnotes, and it was highly annoying. But I kept thinking "well, just a little bit more!" and by the time I had collated it (minus some data, because I've not been consistent with using Zotero, and some of my books are left on campus), it was 6am.
So when I went to get a final drink of water, I exclaimed an expletive at how BRIGHT it was outside, and went to sleep, for about three hours. Woke up feeling crappy still, had more meltdown fits, then realized I had edits for my introduction and second chapter still untouched! So I had another crying fit and sat down and tried to work some more. Slept some more, then begged for help from a friend, and felt better. I wrote a couple of really workable paragraphs, and got through the rest of the introduction edits mostly okay.
Today I worked on Chapter 2 edits, with a nice 4-hour long break to go to lunch with Lindsay which also involved going to get some dessert, so I got some cake from the sugar-free bakery, covered with chocolate mousse.
I also went swimming! The SKY was gloriously CLOUDY and it was still warm out, and I thought, when am I ever going to get a chance to swim when it's warm and cloudy out like this again?? And it might rain! Even better! It started raining around my 8th lap, and I kept going to Lap 18. It was so great. First time that it was warmer in the pool than out. What an interesting experience. I hope it happens again.
Finally checked my email to send my adviser what I currently have only to see she's asked me to take a couple more days so I can stop feeling crummy about my conclusion. (Any advice on how to write dissertation conclusions will be muchly appreciated.) She also has this thing against ending sentences with prepositions. I don't really know why this is such a big deal, but I guess I should comb through the rest of the diss looking for such things.
(no subject)
Date: 2017-08-02 11:36 am (UTC)Glad you got the extension, hang in there and be kind to yourself. My other advisor always used to say "A good dissertation is a finished dissertation. If this becomes the book, you're going to do lots of edits, anyway."
(no subject)
Date: 2017-08-02 02:33 pm (UTC)