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This is a Vagina Monologue for the Ages.
Jan. 16th, 2008 03:53 pmI'm reading the blog of Scarleteen founder Heather Corinna, pure as driven slush, and came upon this fantastic discussion on size, both penile and vaginal. There's also this little diagram there which depicts the scale of both genitals (and her small dog, but that's neither here nor there). She goes on to discuss the relative sizes and parts of the vagina, and finally gets to what she's driving at:
But you know what? Being average has NEVER stopped an awful lot of guys from saying they have a big penis or thinking of their penises as big. And again, this whole big/small business with such a small range is just goofy. I often avidly protest all this size stuff, and even get ungodly irritated by it daily, especially given how often I have to comfort the "smaller" guys and the "larger" girls in my daily work, who really should not have to worry about any of this at all.
But I've been thinking that maybe it's time I tried rolling with it. So, if it's up to me if I'm big or I'm small, I think it seems a whole lot more fun to have a VERY BIG vagina than an average one or a small one.
Which allows me to finally get back to my monumental, super-duper vagina. If what men consider a monumentally big penis is still as long or just a little bit longer than most vaginas can stretch -- and vaginas can stretch a lot bigger than that during childbirth -- and the back end of some vaginas within average are still wider around than those penises, AND our clitorises, internal and external, are just as big as penises, then by gosh and by golly, we don't have diminutive genitals, girls! We've got BIG GIANT VULVAS.
I want to give it supervillian names: Vaginormia or Vulvumba or Vagigante! (That one totally needs an exclamation point, because it sounds like a Lucha Libra name.) The Pink Colossus. Vulvuminousa. Monsmonstro. Vagzilla. The Big Vagowski — eh, that’s not going to work.
I am wholeheartedly enjoying this image of Vagzilla, like a very large sea creature of some kind, pulling its pink, fleshy feet (which totally make a noise, it’s like “schlop, schlop”) across the earth. It waves it’s VERY HUMONGOUS labia around like big, flappy, sea-anemone hands, and it makes a huge whooshing sound, like wind through trees in a storm, when it does. It’s absolutely moist, and seriously squishy. It also has a very, very large nose When it moves, it leaves a trail of shiny, clear ooze in its wake. It’s whipping aside commercial menstrual product manufacturers with those big labia-tentacles, and it’s yelling and blowing air from it’s GAPING vaginal opening, causing douches and speculums and the torture devices of cosmetic surgeons to blow across streets like tumbleweeds. Godzilla knows better than to even think about messing with it.
As you can probably guess, it's a very good read.
But you know what? Being average has NEVER stopped an awful lot of guys from saying they have a big penis or thinking of their penises as big. And again, this whole big/small business with such a small range is just goofy. I often avidly protest all this size stuff, and even get ungodly irritated by it daily, especially given how often I have to comfort the "smaller" guys and the "larger" girls in my daily work, who really should not have to worry about any of this at all.
But I've been thinking that maybe it's time I tried rolling with it. So, if it's up to me if I'm big or I'm small, I think it seems a whole lot more fun to have a VERY BIG vagina than an average one or a small one.
Which allows me to finally get back to my monumental, super-duper vagina. If what men consider a monumentally big penis is still as long or just a little bit longer than most vaginas can stretch -- and vaginas can stretch a lot bigger than that during childbirth -- and the back end of some vaginas within average are still wider around than those penises, AND our clitorises, internal and external, are just as big as penises, then by gosh and by golly, we don't have diminutive genitals, girls! We've got BIG GIANT VULVAS.
I want to give it supervillian names: Vaginormia or Vulvumba or Vagigante! (That one totally needs an exclamation point, because it sounds like a Lucha Libra name.) The Pink Colossus. Vulvuminousa. Monsmonstro. Vagzilla. The Big Vagowski — eh, that’s not going to work.
I am wholeheartedly enjoying this image of Vagzilla, like a very large sea creature of some kind, pulling its pink, fleshy feet (which totally make a noise, it’s like “schlop, schlop”) across the earth. It waves it’s VERY HUMONGOUS labia around like big, flappy, sea-anemone hands, and it makes a huge whooshing sound, like wind through trees in a storm, when it does. It’s absolutely moist, and seriously squishy. It also has a very, very large nose When it moves, it leaves a trail of shiny, clear ooze in its wake. It’s whipping aside commercial menstrual product manufacturers with those big labia-tentacles, and it’s yelling and blowing air from it’s GAPING vaginal opening, causing douches and speculums and the torture devices of cosmetic surgeons to blow across streets like tumbleweeds. Godzilla knows better than to even think about messing with it.
As you can probably guess, it's a very good read.
