Reaching Out

So a youth pastor is now facing charges of sexual assault on a 14-yr-old girl from his church.

"Caldwell was charged with 6 counts of statutory rape of a 14-year-old, three counts of statutory sex offense of a 14-year-old and eight counts of taking indecent liberties with a minor."

After which he was re-arrested:
"After originally posting bond, a High Point youth pastor and Christian school athletic director was re-arrested on 19 additional sex charges.

At the second website, someone wrote this in the comments:

LindsayFnWhite wrote:
Well it’s like this. He may be a YOUTH pastor, but he’s NOT GOD! He IS HUMAN, just like the rest of us. We all make mistakes, but it’s not our option to judge him, discriminate him, or anything else. God will do that for us. What’s done is done, and no he’s not right, but what bout them little girls, they know how to say NO! Why are they messing with a married man with a wife and kids? You have to look at both sides of the story, yes he’s older and knows better, but them little teenagers these days, psh their parents don’t care letting them wear whatever, do whatever with friends, watch whatever on TV, and so forth. If these kids were true Christians they would have said no. Like I said he’s the older one and the youth pastor, but still it’s takes two!! And the next time you think oh well he should have this and that done to him, next time you lie, cheat, steal, cuss, dishonor your parents, lust, gossip, whatever it may be, just remember you committing a sin just as big as he is.

Galatians 6:1 Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly, should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation. 6:3 IF YOU THINK YOU ARE TOO IMPORTANT TO HELP SOMEONE, YOU ARE ONLY FOOLING YOURSELF. YOU ARE NOT THAT IMPORTANT.

That’s God’s words...believe it.

I do!

I'm not sure which part of the comment is worse:

"What's done is done" or "Why are little girls messing around with a married man?" or "these kids aren't true Christians, they watch TV / wear whatever they want / do whatever they want with friends" or "he may be the youth pastor but rape still takes two" or "gossiping, lying, lusting, cussing is as bad as rape" or "OMG GUYZ WHY ARE YOU CONDEMNING HIM?? HELP HIM!"

Just... ugh. How much brainpower does it take that hurting another human being, especially one weaker than you and lower in the hierarchy from him is a crime?

And this "if a 14-year-old girl and a 29-year-old man are involved, he's just a weak vessel and she's a conniving temptress" thing - No, really. One must inquire: how does a person arrive at this conclusion?

CURIOUS MINDS ARE CURIOUS.


via Pandagon

This is an actual study done recently:

"Employees who are sexually harassed experience less job satisfaction and lower job performance."

No fucking shit, Sherlock.

I know, I know, srz studiez like this make it clear that there's empirical evidence for the case against sexual harassment, but still, the fact that some people do not understand this correlation as a matter of course is baffling. Especially if you take into consideration the fact that these same people would be capitalistic kinds that want to make all sorts of monetary profit. Shouldn't it be obvious that happy people work hard and produce more profit?

Unless of course, they're not seeing them as people.

Dolls: little representations of fictional characters (Barbie and the like) designed for playtime for, stereotypically, little girls.

Little girls and boys will use dolls to enact stories, different dolls playing different roles within any sequence. As a result, dolls get a lot of use, do a lot of acting for their humans.


Action figures: little representations of fictional characters (Batman and the like) which are designed to boost their stereotypically male owner's esteem and designed solely for display.

I know there are those like He-Man which are designed for active use, but often when one thinks "action figure", one doesn't necessarily associate it with "playtime".


So why dolls so characterized as passive when obviously they're a hell lot more active than these "action figures"?

Recently, a bunch of Zeta Psi "pledges" (boys applying to get into frat) from Yale University decided it would be cool to do the following:



This was done in front of the Yale Women's Center which offers, among other things, a safe space for women and rape counselling. The Women's Center is open almost 24 hours, and these young brats were there when a young women came to the center and intimidated her from entering.

This is by no means an isolated incident; Feministing readers who are students at Yale have come forward relating more incidents like this:

I'm a Yale woman, class of 2010, and this horrifies but does not surprise me. The frat culture on campus is scary liek whoa.

Last spring, I was eating dinner in the dining hall with some male friends of mine and some friends of theirs whom I didn't know. Said group of friends were apparently members of a frat (not Zeta Psi, but there's no REAL difference), and they were recounting the story of how, for initiation, they had gone to stand outside the Women's Center and chanted "No means yes, maybe means yes, yes means anal" over and over.

Not thirty seconds later, one of them turned to me and said, "Hey, [Sparrow], you never come 'round our parties. You totally should! They're fun!"


This is not acceptable behaviour.

I don't care if they were drunk - being drunk does not excuse hostile behaviour. It does not give you the right to storm the space where certain peoples go because it's safe, and it certainly does not give you the right to create an uncomfortable environment. Furthermore, it is not clear that they were "just being drunk" and it was a "bad judgement call" seeing as it was up on fucking Facebook for a bit until the Women's Center had to take action.

I dno't care if they were "just being boys" - this sort of statement does nothing but allow accountability to slide off the backs of the perpetrators. They are still responsible for their actions; they are still human, therefore capable of taking responsibility for any dumb shit they pull. Saying "oh, they're just being boys" is a bit like saying, "oh, of course the dog peed on the couch leg. It's a dog. It pees on things." Unlike dogs, these boys are capable of rationality and empathy. To say they were "just being boys" renders them infantile and nullifies the whole point of education and bringing them up in the first place.

I don't care if "it was just a harmless joke" - CALLING WOMEN 'SLUTS' IN FRONT OF A MAKESHIFT RAPE CRISIS CENTER IS NOT A HARMLESS JOKE. Feminism gives us sexual agency, not the right for men to harass women. Feminism gives us acknowledgement of rape cases, not the right to belittle women who undergo such traumatic experiences. SUCH BEHAVIOUR PERPETUATES ATTITUDES WHICH CREATE HOSTILE, HARMFUL, SEXUALLY VIOLENT ENVIRONMENTS FOR WOMEN, which in turn CREATE DISTRUST TOWARDS THE MALE GENDER.... and what kind of world do we want to live in where women always have to be scared of men? Is it good for men to be in a world where women are mistrustful?

Just because the boys belong to a frat doesn't make them unaccountable for their actions. I understand the point of a fraternity is to foster brotherhood. YOU CAN STILL BE BROTHERS WITHOUT BEING ASSHOLES TO WOMEN. I'm very fortunate to be living in a town where local fraternities do not engage in such stupid shenanigans, and I have met fraternity members who do not feel the need to be sexist in order to ensure their masculinity. It is very unfortunate that some fraternity cultures have degenerated into insecure outbreaks of hyper-masculinity - WE DO NOT NEED THIS IN OUR WORLD.

If you care about your wives, your daughters, your mothers, your sisters, your female friends, (especially if you are male) then I call on you to blog about this. If enough bad press about Yale University gets around, there may just be enough pressure for the Yale U administration to take action.

Sexist Humor No Laughing Matter, Researcher Says

( Of course, this is shit we all know already, but if you don't, you ought to take a look-see )

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I'll be the first to admit that I'm pretty fuckin' racist, and I'll use humour to diffuse the intensity of any prejudice I feel. It's to the credit of the people I read and listen to that I don't allow my sense of humour to cloud my sense of justice.

Just because something's funny doesn't make it right.