Reaching Out

- struggling to juggle projects. sometimes i feel i am not cut out to be a freelancer and gosh do i miss going into the office at regular hours. i feel i dither a lot less when i have a set space for work. instead i'm at a table where i have to do creative work AND professional work AND loafing around and my brain is badly jumbled as a result.

like if i want to write i need to sit on my bed up against the headboard, but if i want to read submissions i gotta read in bed sitting up against the wall. it's bananas. i don't like it. we have a pandemic and we have hit a record high for new cases in malaysia and so i would like to limit my going out as much as possible.

- speaking of writing i am stalled again on the novel. not sure if it's an ideas problem, or a fear that i'm not doing this issue right, or just... burnout, like i don't see the point of finishing this novel. but i've come so far, and i only have so much to go, so it seems a shame to stop now.

- i'm dithering with my embroidery bc i've decided to do my chinese fan kit from Chengdu. i DEFINITELY will not be using the needles it came with, because they're so large?! i also want to record myself making it and have been experimenting with positioning my camera on my new stand (which is very cool! i like it).

- my brother took me out to Digital Mall so i could check out the current laptop market in person. i would like a new dedicated writing machine, and am looking at the ASUS Zenbook and the HHP Envy.

ideally i would also get a new computer, maybe a minitower PC, with a new monitor (my manager is insisting i get a 26" monitor, and charge the company the cost), and use my current HP Pavilion as a backup machine (I am not particularly wild about it; it's serviceable). i'm trying to decide what i really want from a home PC though, and i feel maybe i should be a bit more ambitious wrt a graphics card? but i don't know.

if i were to break down my priorities for a computer it'd be:

* for word processing, and lots of files, though hard drive capacity has never been an issue for me, and so the machine needs to be extremely portable. (for this reason i'm also considering a tablet+wireless keyboard option but that might lead to shenanigans where i forget one or the other)

* browsing, though i'm not a million tabs kinda person

* mild image editing: screenshots, little images like from Canva

at some point i'd also like to be able to do more with images, like photoediting and videoediting.

so i'm going to take a bit more time thinking about that. i DO need a new machine soon though, to tide me over when this one has to go get its battery replaced.

- How Raeliana Ended up At The Duke's Mansion is coming to an end and wow i am really fucking pissed at how it's turning out. talk about failed narrative promises, and a complete disrespect for its characters, not to mention how it dunks on people with clinical depression. i hate the main character and how conveniently everything is set up just so the reader feels suspense for her safety (like people are as smart or as dumb as they need to be in this story for the heroine to shine), i hate how mishandled the concept of the novel isekai is here (where it barely exists except to conveniently spotlight the heroine in some way), i hate how much time i wasted trying to wrangle sense and logic out of this manhwa.

anyways.